sexta-feira, outubro 12, 2007

Skidmarks

It’s been a while since I’ve been drawn to the conclusion that things rarely go wrong because people don’t know what they are doing. Most often, bad management exists because someone is making some sort of profit with it.

It might be an economical gain, but it can also be the bloating of the ego, or simply the maintenance of a job. In this specific case I’m referring to, it’s a mix of these three reasons. I have someone in charge that doesn’t know squat about the process, and is not interested in finding out how things are done, or what difficulties people go thru to keep the company afloat. Basically, all that matters is that people look busy, even if you are only grinding coffee (coffee is far from being our business).

Also, that person presents the worst ability I’ve ever seen in dealing with people, much less with subordinates. So, eventually, the person in charge found out that being this kind of boss as let her out of the team. People scatter whenever she is spotted in the vicinities, avoid talking to her, and lie as much as possible to keep from getting into futile discussions over the most stupid reasons.

Both the “qualities” mentioned above have led to a state of confusion, which originates stress. Time for the shouting to begin. Emotional derange takes over, and the day is ruined for at least two persons (no one sane fights alone), even if it happens at 09.00 am, the start of the work journey.

As a consequence, we achieve poor results. People long for the end of the day so they can escape from the claws of this place and it’s appointed executioner. Injustices are frequent, no matter how good you are, or whatever effort you make for the company, you are still worth less than in day one.

Quality, of course, fails. Any new procedure or tool destined to bring any light into the process is doomed to failure as well. As long as confusion reigns, there is an illusion of control and power. No one else can understand how things work because there is at least one person injecting as much noise as possible, and latter filtering the information the way she finds that serves her best interests.

It’s not a surprise that good elements either throw the towel and surrender to keep their jobs, or leave at some point. We now have a nice selection of crap, with some stubborn elements that refuse to give in, or give up. And this is how lucky this boss is, these stubborn few keep things going with some logic. We might say they are the ABS and traction control that compensate for this crazy driver’s bad skills and lunacy.

We could all have a smooth ride, but looking back all we see are skidmarks, and the tires are getting worn out.

After passing by some companies that had dialoging bosses instead of screaming berserkers, it’s a low point in my professional path. My kingdom for a good company, with rational and emotionally intelligent people. I’m sick and tired of stupidity. And I’m getting tired of being sick and tired.

terça-feira, outubro 02, 2007

Somebody needs me


This is a feeling that I’ve waited for so long, and now that it’s here, it seems strangely new, although it shouldn’t.

I have today somebody that needs me, and I’m quite happy do be able to do for her what she says is more than enough. That’s what she says, anyway. Inside, I don’t believe that this is all that I can do for her. I want to see this woman exhilarate, have a happier smile everyday, and cuddle with me every time we have the chance.

I worry about every little thing about her, over her projects, over her happiness. I’m committed to this woman as I have never been with any other before. And no matter how many times I tell her, she doesn’t seem to believe that she makes me happy. I’m brought to my knees by the shear tender of her heart, her beautiful smile and her soft touch.

The way she kisses me shows me how much she cares, makes me feel loved. And right now, she needs my help and understanding, my support and every bit of a man I can be.

If I have to, I’ll reinvent myself for her. Not because she asks me to, because I feel the need to be by her side anyway I can. Her heart guides mine. I believe in her. This is my woman.

I could call sacrifice to that reinvention, but in truth it isn’t. It’s what gets commanded by something inside. I’m here for you honey. And I will be with you for as long as you’ll have me. Just keep smiling at me.

segunda-feira, outubro 01, 2007

I’ll get there


Funny how even a short week seems painful. This Friday is a holyday and in spite of having to come and face this job for four days only this week, it still feels crappy.

But I’m enduring this trial. And I will make it somehow. I will manage to get out of this place, and rub it in the face of those that treat me below dirt professional wise.

Revenge is served on a cold platter, right? So this one might be worth the wait.

It’s a bitch when you know for a fact that you perform a good job, let no one down, and still get treated as if you where an irresponsible child. I’ve had it, no more mister nice guy.

As long as I’m here, I’ll keep doing my job with the same kind of dedication as before. I just won’t sacrifice even an ounce of what I did earlier. It will be ready when I say it is, and not a moment sooner. Any trouble will be thoroughly documented. Every equipment shall be dealt with utmost care. And the time taken will be proportional.

The dragon can fly both high and low, and even though it fly’s through the night right now, eventually the Sun will come up and it’s scales will shine with the morning rays.

It carries a heart inside, that is filled with love for an amazing woman that makes it believe that any effort is worthy.

The day will come when it will burn the house down with it’s fire breath. ‘Till that day, it’s time to take a little nap in the dragon’s lair.