Mind Travels

References

2008-06-18T09:00:00.001Z

I've been feeling a bit lost lately. Today, as I took a shit (the thinking throne is always the place to have the best insights), I thought about navigation, and how ships get from harbor to harbor. They do course corrections, and they don't go in a straight line most the times. It's cheaper and faster to take advantage of the main currents.

The loneliness I'm experiencing is self imposed, since I have plenty of people around me that are trying to help me out. And it's loneliness because I've been trying to carry my wife's world and mine on my back. This can't be anymore. I'm trowing my happiness out the window. Fortunately, my wife had the good sense to close the damn thing.

Good thinking, being practical and utter respect for logic, not forgetting my manners and not hardening my heart, that's the way to go.

Sometimes people get scared. I'm no different. I don't want to get back that road I traveled in the past when I eventually hurt people in my life. In this growingly mad world, ethics will be the thing that will save us as individuals and society. I'm having some people helping me in these conclusions.

So all and all, what is that I need? For starters, to get my priorities straight. Where am I, what is my current status. After that, be clear about where I want to go. Now I have points A and B. Time to figure out how to get there and what I need to do that. When I achieve this, I'll have done 10% of the work. The rest is sweat. Nothing makes a genius more than continuity. Hard work and lots of patience always pays off. I guess I can do a lot of hard work, but I seem to have a deficit on patience. Where do I buy a couple of cans of that?

It would be nice to get back to Earth, the mother of us all. I seem to need to charge my batteries. Feel the wind on my hair, the rain on my face and the Sun on my back. Maybe my references are in my wilderness, even if it's only a walk in the park. Maybe it's in the sea, even if it's only a stream that wets my feet.

I once told my wife that she is 90% of the happiness I can have in my life. There might be 100%'s out there, but it took me 30 long years to find the person that eases my pain with a smile, so who gives a shit about the rest 10%? I'm not risking what I have.

Right now I seem to be focusing on the problems instead of on finding solutions. Time goes by, and the problems only get bigger. I need to find my compass fast, and smile more often. You now what? I worry too much. And I know this, only I've been conditioned to be this way, and it's not easy to shake this monkey off my back. Continuity seems to be the answer to everything. Keep trying. And another thing... The KISS method (keep it simple, stupid).

The Old Spirit

2008-05-01T18:18:00.001Z

I've come to the acquaintance of someone that's extraordinary. We have talked over an hour or so, and in that time, this gentleman has shown me that he deserves to be called extraordinary. Why? It seems little time to have such a certainty over someone. It was enough, though, to realize that he has that old spirit most of us have as children, and that so few keep as they grow up. A willing to learn, eyes that shine has new stuff is brought to his knowledge, and the humanity to share it.

This guy, a man in his 50's with a respectable belly, is a teacher that struggles to keep his students motivated and provide them with experiences that will constitute tools in their lives, professional and private. Although he has little experience in some areas, he steals time from his family and friends to find out how stuff works, and bring it to his students. This man has a heart that moved me, and that put a shine in my eyes for having found another soul that shares the same interests I do.

Lack of support from the school board, unmotivated students and constantly being mistreated by the education ministry has made many teachers throw the towel and lower their arms. I sensed a different fiber in this man. And for that, he seems to be one of the heroes that wander around unnoticed by most, and that do make a difference.

I have had teachers like that, some have made a lasting impression in me, and a few of those have become good friends. And those have added something to my life, important things. Things that were more than academic knowledge, things that are part of the man I am today.

They say that the difference between a child and a man is the cost of their toys. The Chinese wish their friends that they live in interesting times. Well, in all of mankind's history, there probably were no more interesting times than the ones we live now. We are only bored if we chose to be. Our lives are so surrounded by knowledge, the access to it has probably never been so easy, that what limits us is basically lack of interest due to lack of imagination.

I can't deny my will to help this man achieve his goals. I would have no reward other than my own satisfaction in achieving new knowledge and helping someone getting ahead. I think I will probably dig in my old projects and find out if some of them are interesting and simple enough for the students. Hopefully, we can make something of it, and just maybe... someone else gets a shine in their eyes. After all, Xmas is the time to expect small miracles. Could it be that I can manage to give a present to a man that devotes his live to sharing knowledge? Once I thought that a smile was my reward for offering someone a gift. Now I see that I was a bit off. What you really give is a reason to smile, and the smile is the gift you present others.

Never mind if you are loaded with money, or your wallet is dry as a bone. Happiness is something that bypasses material possessions, if you are not materialistic yourself.

My GF likes to offer presents and she lives Xmas as a time of joy. I myself, am more discrete. What really gives me pleasure is to sit by the fire, playing chess over a nice conversation and a glass of red wine. To gather the people we love under one roof and enjoy each other. It's not about the presents or the food. It's about family and love. And first of all, I need to feel that. After, the rest might be welcome, but the essential has to come first.

Have a happy Xmas everybody, and keep fanning the flames of that old spirit.

Doing the right thing

2008-05-01T18:03:00.000Z

Sometimes you are held to a stop by little things that happen in your life. Something that makes you think. You count your blessings and sometimes you get scared by the possibility of losing them.
The wonderful people that light your world, the comfort level you have achieved, the laughter time and space that you share with your loved ones.

If you consider the possibility of a life ending, and how it will affect all around that person, they will suffer with the loss as much as that person filled their lives. The hole is always as big as what you pull out.

Knowing that the people you love will suffer when you fade away someday, you might think that if you are as neutral as possible, they wont miss you as much. Not true. People will still remember you, if not for the good things, for the bad then.
They will still miss how much of a pain in the ass you used to be, how grouchy you could be, the stupid remarks you made and the bad calls you took. No matter what, we all make impacts in others lives.

As far as I can tell, the best choice is to let it all go natural. Being fun and being there for others, knowing how to laugh at yourself, experiencing and sharing together, sitting down and talking things over, having a special someone that you can pour your heart out to.

All this came from a movie I caught in the middle, not seeing the tittle. It's a great family movie, with an old man faced with it's eminent death due to cancer. That halts the whole family and causes an introspection over everyone's lives, the choices they all made, and leads to a general redemption. Having been a family that always dealt with problems by making jokes, they finally sit down and talk. So this man's announced final hour manages more that what they all expected. He changes his behavior, and starts fooling around, just having fun, and dragging his family with him. And probably the most important phrase in the movie is said by this old man on the verge of death: “It's not a sin to die... and neither is living”.

So we shouldn't be afraid to live, although in some cases it happens. We shouldn't be afraid of dieing, although sometimes it happens too. Guess what, being afraid is not a sin either. What might be considered a sin is that you don't give yourself to others, don't share joy's and worries, don't do for others what would be nice if someone did for you. In short, be a friend.

Everyone important to you should start out as being a friend. And they should never go beyond that status. Parents, uncles, girlfriend, wife... all that really matters is if they are your friends. From that, you can build a part of your happiness.

In closure, the right thing is not hiding from the world so that in case it all goes wrong, people wont get hurt. The right thing is to be a part of the big party of life, laughing your ass off, sharing and being forgiving.

A final word: don't be afraid of being ridiculous sometimes. We all are from time to time, and knowing how to deal with that helps you not taking yourself too seriously, which leads to good humor. Otherwise, you will never be as happy as you could have been, and your legacy will be somewhat... grouchy.

Cornered

2008-05-01T17:45:00.001Z

Something happens when you are cornered into some messy situation. Now, I'm talking about the kind of situation where you have nothing to lose. I've seen it happen often to other people, and I was in the same kind of situation just over 2 years ago.

At the time, I didn't even had a home to live in. I wasn´t living on the street due to family help. With a mother and a sister I felt where my responsability to take care of, the strugle within was enormous. I felt like I had to carve a way through the jungle with one hand and pull them with the other, trying to keep us together. To make things worse, I was trapped in a course that was nearly over, after 2 years of studying. I would lose my diploma if I quited, and I was in desperate need for money.

I was lucky enough to have people that helped me out. It's Xmas and I'm thinking of people that don't have such luck. What if I was one of those people back then?

I struggled as far as I could, made all kind of efforts, and now I have a little more to show for. The kind of obligations I commited myself to, keep me working to maintain and get ahead. But taking two steps back in my memories, I remember another time when I couldn't accept failure, simply because it wasn't an option. I had commited to the most important person in my life, and I had to honour her sacrifice. And I did what seemed impossible to me at the time. I set my own pace, burned up my eye lashes studying as hard as I could. I made it happen. And it made me feel special. I knew then that I was able to do things. More importantly, I had proven myself capable.

I was just watching Oprah, and some stories came up about people that had lost everything. I'm not talking about a bank account. It's actually loosing everything, and still be found in a huge debt. What do you do when you find yourself in that kind of situation, a woman with 2 kids to take care of? This was the most moving case presented. Wanna know what happens? Everything changes perspective. You sacrifice every little thing that most of us take for granted. Being with your kids becomes a luxury that you sometimes can't have. You love them so much that you sacrifice energies and time with them to provide for them. Like my mother did when I needed help. Like I did for her when she needed some solid ground. When we suceed, we suceed together. Until then, we are cornered together and fighting for a way out. Even when you feel cornered, love for life or for someone else will get you through. All we need is to keep believing, and at the end of each day, count our blessings so we never forget how lucky we actually are.

Fear of the Dark

2007-11-03T03:27:00.000Z

Inside each of us there is a fear of some kind of dark. It seems no one stops needing some sort of night light. You may take this to the letter, but you can also extrapolate and find what lurks inside your personal darkness.

At times, it might be yourself. What happens when we are the scariest thing under the bed?

Well, we all have characteristics that we don't like, or bad times in which we can't be at our best. We can then show that inner beast, even if it's only to ourselves. It slowly comes out of the shadows and devours us without asking.

In spite of every scare we might catch with that beast, it generally disappears when the light comes, or better yet, transforms itself.

Remember the Japanese shadows theater? The image projected can be of many different forms, but in reality, it's still two hands articulating fingers. What I mean by this is, even that beast is still made from us, only altered by the way we articulate ourselves. The casted shadow can sometimes be really scary, to us and to others.

Life can sometimes brake or bend us. What happens is that if we aren't standing tall and proud, our shadow will be transformed into something else, and those who look only to the shadow won't recognize us. Those that look at us directly will never cease to see us for who we are, no matter how battered we've been. The natural reaction for any animal is to fight back when attacked. A cute dog with puppy eyes can also show some sharp teeth.

I haven't seen eternal night so far, so, no matter how scary my shadow might be, I'm confident that daylight will come eventually and change my shadow back to normal.

The night feels long and cold, but midnight has passed already. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I'm getting there.

Skidmarks

2007-10-12T00:47:00.001Z

It’s been a while since I’ve been drawn to the conclusion that things rarely go wrong because people don’t know what they are doing. Most often, bad management exists because someone is making some sort of profit with it.

It might be an economical gain, but it can also be the bloating of the ego, or simply the maintenance of a job. In this specific case I’m referring to, it’s a mix of these three reasons. I have someone in charge that doesn’t know squat about the process, and is not interested in finding out how things are done, or what difficulties people go thru to keep the company afloat. Basically, all that matters is that people look busy, even if you are only grinding coffee (coffee is far from being our business).

Also, that person presents the worst ability I’ve ever seen in dealing with people, much less with subordinates. So, eventually, the person in charge found out that being this kind of boss as let her out of the team. People scatter whenever she is spotted in the vicinities, avoid talking to her, and lie as much as possible to keep from getting into futile discussions over the most stupid reasons.

Both the “qualities” mentioned above have led to a state of confusion, which originates stress. Time for the shouting to begin. Emotional derange takes over, and the day is ruined for at least two persons (no one sane fights alone), even if it happens at 09.00 am, the start of the work journey.

As a consequence, we achieve poor results. People long for the end of the day so they can escape from the claws of this place and it’s appointed executioner. Injustices are frequent, no matter how good you are, or whatever effort you make for the company, you are still worth less than in day one.

Quality, of course, fails. Any new procedure or tool destined to bring any light into the process is doomed to failure as well. As long as confusion reigns, there is an illusion of control and power. No one else can understand how things work because there is at least one person injecting as much noise as possible, and latter filtering the information the way she finds that serves her best interests.

It’s not a surprise that good elements either throw the towel and surrender to keep their jobs, or leave at some point. We now have a nice selection of crap, with some stubborn elements that refuse to give in, or give up. And this is how lucky this boss is, these stubborn few keep things going with some logic. We might say they are the ABS and traction control that compensate for this crazy driver’s bad skills and lunacy.

We could all have a smooth ride, but looking back all we see are skidmarks, and the tires are getting worn out.

After passing by some companies that had dialoging bosses instead of screaming berserkers, it’s a low point in my professional path. My kingdom for a good company, with rational and emotionally intelligent people. I’m sick and tired of stupidity. And I’m getting tired of being sick and tired.

Somebody needs me

2007-10-02T21:31:00.001Z

This is a feeling that I’ve waited for so long, and now that it’s here, it seems strangely new, although it shouldn’t.

I have today somebody that needs me, and I’m quite happy do be able to do for her what she says is more than enough. That’s what she says, anyway. Inside, I don’t believe that this is all that I can do for her. I want to see this woman exhilarate, have a happier smile everyday, and cuddle with me every time we have the chance.

I worry about every little thing about her, over her projects, over her happiness. I’m committed to this woman as I have never been with any other before. And no matter how many times I tell her, she doesn’t seem to believe that she makes me happy. I’m brought to my knees by the shear tender of her heart, her beautiful smile and her soft touch.

The way she kisses me shows me how much she cares, makes me feel loved. And right now, she needs my help and understanding, my support and every bit of a man I can be.

If I have to, I’ll reinvent myself for her. Not because she asks me to, because I feel the need to be by her side anyway I can. Her heart guides mine. I believe in her. This is my woman.

I could call sacrifice to that reinvention, but in truth it isn’t. It’s what gets commanded by something inside. I’m here for you honey. And I will be with you for as long as you’ll have me. Just keep smiling at me.

I’ll get there

2007-10-01T23:22:00.001Z

Funny how even a short week seems painful. This Friday is a holyday and in spite of having to come and face this job for four days only this week, it still feels crappy.

But I’m enduring this trial. And I will make it somehow. I will manage to get out of this place, and rub it in the face of those that treat me below dirt professional wise.

Revenge is served on a cold platter, right? So this one might be worth the wait.

It’s a bitch when you know for a fact that you perform a good job, let no one down, and still get treated as if you where an irresponsible child. I’ve had it, no more mister nice guy.

As long as I’m here, I’ll keep doing my job with the same kind of dedication as before. I just won’t sacrifice even an ounce of what I did earlier. It will be ready when I say it is, and not a moment sooner. Any trouble will be thoroughly documented. Every equipment shall be dealt with utmost care. And the time taken will be proportional.

The dragon can fly both high and low, and even though it fly’s through the night right now, eventually the Sun will come up and it’s scales will shine with the morning rays.

It carries a heart inside, that is filled with love for an amazing woman that makes it believe that any effort is worthy.

The day will come when it will burn the house down with it’s fire breath. ‘Till that day, it’s time to take a little nap in the dragon’s lair.

Another one of those days

2007-09-21T23:02:00.001Z

Some times you come to the end of the week and it just feels like it was another one of days. It was shitty as hell, not much work to do and still I felt like doing nothing. It’s partly due to the expectation of finding another job and getting out of a place that means nothing to me, gives me no chance to evolve, and waiting for September to come, when the job market opens again. Plus, I need to make more money, so this is a not a whim. I have all the reasons in the world to start in a new place.

Decompressing today is not an easy thing to accomplish. I’m faced with the fundamental problem of any economist. To meet unlimited needs with limited resources. How I can manage this is a bit of a puzzle.

Anyway, I also need to get back to robotics and automation, so a job in that field would be heaven. This is not easy, because the market is not what I expected to be, and companies aren’t too keen in paying decent wages.

So I decided to do the best thing I could think of. Sit back and enjoy a beer with a mild cigar while I wrote this and let my mind ease up.

I’m facing the street in front of my home, gazing at Friday’s traffic and the people walking by, each minding their own business, and I find myself thinking on how many of them have worst problems than mine. Although I think of this country as having a chaotic way of functioning, things always seem to work out some how. Any foreigner of a first world country would go insane trying to understand how we manage to get by, but when it’s a cultural base to act like this, everyone knows what buttons to push and strings to pull.

I often think of getting out of here and make a living in some other place, but today there is a doubt in my mind. Can I make my most deep roots in Portugal? Fact is, this is a great place to live if you have enough money. Just about any rule can be bent and you can make your reality happen through the weight of the mighty Euro. With money anything is possible, and that’s not true here alone. That can happen anywhere. So the question is… can I make enough money here? And how the fuck can I do that? I have good qualifications, my skills need only a place to be tested. Where do I do that?

I try to make myself acquainted to the companies that matter the most, but still lady luck has thrown only bones at me. Where’s the beef? And no, I’m not sitting on my ass trying to get a break. I really try to get ahead.

To tell you the truth, this isn’t a day to get conclusions. This might just be a day to relax.

Wantings

2007-09-21T22:52:00.001Z

Ain’t life a bitch? What do you do when you want something that is near you but you just can’t grab it?

To dream is every fool’s right, and they usually use it. Frequently I feel like a proud member of that group of nutcases.

Oscillating between feelings of ecstasy and frustration, life is moving on. It seems that a river always knows where to flow, so I might as well forget about worries. Yeah right, and who can do that for a fact?

The problem with old dreams, is that you have allowed to believe them so many times, it gets easier to get back to them, and more painful to set them aside every time it happens.

What do you do when your heart is home for a tiger that yearns to leap ahead and grab it’s prey? A hunter’s instincts can be eased some times, but not forever. Something inside seeks to rebel.

Freedom is seldom the same for everybody. What might seem like a prison to many, proves to be paradise to others. Some seek it in places they visit, some in possessions, and others inside themselves. Lack of diversity however, leads to a momentary satisfaction that ends in a sense of emptiness. No matter how much you like something, everyone gets bored of the same old same old.

So right now, what is it that I need? It’s always a simple question with a complex answer. It’s clear that I want to fly close to the stratosphere, as high as thin air will allow me. I know damn well that not everyone can breathe up there, and it takes a lot of effort to maintain flight in such altitudes. Reason might tell me that it’s safer and easier to lay low and keep it going in the middle of the flock. The heart thou… it lives elsewhere.

I think that my most pure dreams will live on with me for years, and I will come to them over and over again, until one day I can make them happen, or die trying. Some other goals will be accomplished meanwhile, but it seems that they will always be clouded by what I really want for myself.

I don’t seek to have beamers, a beach house in some island in the pacific, travel to the four corners of the world and all the other things that most people want if they ever get rich. I am dedicated to improve the life conditions of my fellow man. My brand in this world shall be to do for others what they can’t do for themselves.

Everything else does not fall second, but I feel that if this doesn’t happen, then nothing else will taste as good, life will be dull flavored.

Have a Heart

2007-09-21T22:39:00.001Z

Has Aerosmith say in their song, “…it’s amazing…”

When you struggle to get ahead, and make your team win the prize, there are always those who slack and just pretend to be pushing the band wagon.

I’m witnessing a curious phenomenon. People that want to keep earning money, but don’t strive to do better, work as individuals instead of performing team work, and still bitch about any change or complaint directed to them.

People really don’t like having their cheese moved. And why is that? It’s easier to function that way. You store every aspect of that part of your life into mental drawers and cease thinking. Things become mechanical, and even if your work is done in an inefficient way, you don’t give a crap, as long as you can save your brain cells and babble about the current soap opera, the neighbor that is cheating her husband, the price tag of the milk carton, or the latest show you attended.

In fact, my conclusion is that these people don’t actually act unprofessionally due to evilness, but rather due to having too many problems in their minds. Work becomes the refuge for the family problems, their life’s realities. I can relate to that better than you might think.

Still, we are getting paid to do a job, as good as we can, and if you can’t think of better ways of doing it, then why stall those that are trying to improve work conditions and achieve better overall quality? Why resist changing for the better?

In the mist of confusion, people get a certain sense of protection and control. They feel that they can control a part of the process, and I believe that for that reason, they resist giving up that fantasy. Many show that they need to feel they have some power in their hands, and those are the ones that bitch the most.

What really happens is that a company must satisfy their costumers. Otherwise, they will move on, and we will be left with nothing but bills to pay. And salaries tend to be the last priority. Meeting the costumers expectations is not enough anymore. We need to be creative, get involved with the client’s process and even suggest some improvements. Some of them might not even be of the client’s knowledge. So by helping it improve, we gain it’s trust, and more work will follow, if possible. If the client for some reason doesn’t stick with us, if it got a good impression of our work, it will be an ambassador for our quality. How is that bad?

Doing the right thing means that we must apply our efforts for improvement in the field we can make a difference… our own job. No one knows it better than the person who does it, so no one can talk about it with more authority. It’s not up to the team leader, he or she can’t see everything (but can still see enough to kick your ass). It’s up to each and every one of us to think as a whole, and not as an individual. To make whatever possible effort to boost the team’s performance. The team wins, we all win. The total of the teams win, the company wins.

People think too fast about compensations for their work. They should always do 110% before thinking of any kind of material reward. Do it for themselves first.

The thing is, if you prove yourself and your boss doesn’t recognize it, he will have lost a valuable member of the team. Why? Because others will be interested in you, and probably will be paying more for your services. Creating a reputation of a competent employee is also good. If you get sacked due to bankruptcy or staff reduction, you will get a job easily.

So think of your career. Think of your competence. Think of getting better everyday and making more money for you and your family. Evolution means making more in less time. Make yourself so perfect and necessary to any employer that if you need to earn more, he or she will think twice before letting you go to the competition.

Plus, your primary demands should always be working conditions. Face it, they are less prone to giving you a raise to keep you, than to buy better tools, improving the ergonomics of the work stations or safety conditions. Especially if it’s a certified company, with certain standards to meet.

Avoid asking for a day off. Instead, ask for better work conditions. Training if you need it. Be the first to share knowledge with your team, help them out. Expect nothing in return except for an increase in competence and teamwork. Your reward… knowledge and experience. With that, you can further negotiate your income.

If by any chance you feel dissatisfied at your current job, seek for a better one, but keep excelling at what you are doing. Never show lack of professionalism. You are still getting paid, and you still have your word to honor, remember that. The greatest slap you can throw at anyone’s face is to be flawless as much as possible.

I still fail to see the logic in resilient people’s minds. Not wanting to improve, not wanting to work in a competitive company, not wanting to leave a legacy. All they excel at is bitching. I hope they change their minds and embrace the reality they stubbornly insist in not seeing. Because getting sacked at 50 is not a pleasant scenario.

Now, how is this not amazing? It can all be explained by the general theory of human stupidity. It’s not the brightest or the most competent that survive. It’s those who adapt to the incoming changes the best. This is truly survival of the fittest.

What if I don’t make it?

2007-09-21T22:37:00.001Z

Follow your heart and soon you might find yourself in a leap of faith. I know I have, and fortunately I’m not alone in this. Shit happens when you doubt if you will make it while in mid air.

Who can say that this has never happened to them? Not doubting at all is not blind faith, it’s stupidity. Not even the most fanatical believer can escape that moment when something inside makes you wonder about that “…what if…?” thing. If you get your faith back or not, it makes little difference, you can’t go back and make it all like it was before you made your move.

And maybe you just can’t make it on your own anyway. But sometimes, just sometimes… you catch a tail wind and that makes the difference between falling into the abyss or landing on the other edge.

The reason why we risk it like this is probably the same that makes us eat fat saturated food with lots of salt, get drunk, parachute out of a perfectly functional airplane or smoke a cigar. Because it tastes good, it gives you pleasure. And as long as you don’t get addicted to adrenaline, it should be ok.

Anyway, it’s nice to know that if you land flat on your face, you have someone to help you lick your wounds. So thanks for being there with, and for me. It’s like you say, it feels natural and comfortable, it’s a bitter sweet sensation that binds us. And not just now, many times in the future to come, you will be the one that I will look for to help me believe again. You are the best partner I could ask for. Crazy enough to stick with me, sound enough to call me to reason, brave enough to face me when I’m wrong, sensitive enough to know when to stop. My 90%, as a friend once said, you are my right kind of wrong.

It will take a lot of effort to reach our goals. I think we both can make it. Forgive me for sometimes doubting, and thanks for being my tail wind. There are still a lot of things that scare me. I seem to be different from most people, I tend to fear the easy and embrace the hard passionately. It’s like some projects are too easy to be worth taking the time for them. Great doings are made out of small things, so those projects are necessary too. And you are the right person to help me to change in that way.

Tell you something, the thing I want the most is to work with you. Put our skills together and see what comes out of it. At some point, I don’t want to have a tail wind anymore. I will want to know what it feels like to be jumping with you.

Being supportive

2007-09-21T22:20:00.001Z

Finding someone can sometimes be a bit difficult. Once you do, it’s almost like a cat that catches it’s first mouse. The desire was there, but now that you caught it, what do you do with it?

For starters, do what you where doing before, when you where trying to catch the mouse. If something inside told you to act like that, move in a certain way, and that mouse felt like the best thing in the world, then it probably is.

I found that a lot of couples change after a little while. People usually complaint about how things got dull, or that the spouse has changed and the “magic” has gone. That can always happen, and more likely if you pretend to be someone you’re not, to conquer your better half. No one can fake forever, and eventually you get tired of it and show your true self. On the contrary, honesty always pays.

Do you know what you can give anyone that surpasses any gift? Support. People’s dreams are the most important things to them. Forget about the motives; never mind what they do to get there. They aren’t any less important because of that.

So, if you feel it’s right, give them a helping hand in achieving their dreams. Think about it, dreams where what brought the world to this point, and will keep taking us forward. Sure we have screwed up some times, but the willpower, the effort and sacrifice taken to get into the shit hole are our best weapons to get out of it.

None of us are perfect, and still we demand that from others while finding excuses for our little flaws. Generally we are all jackasses when our own private world gets ticked. There is always an excuse to why our vices can exist and sustain our way of life, and still we demand cleanness and purity from everyone around us. Could that be so that we can forget about our own faults? Demand purity so that we can forget about our impurity and hopefully it rubs in?

Failing is a natural part of the learning process. It shouldn’t be encouraged, but it must be accepted as a normal thing. However, each of us deals with failure in a different way.

Time has proven to be the best teacher in my life. Age too. I’ve learned to deal better with pressure and to make good use of stress. My best interest right now is to live life as quietly as possible, with some adrenaline peaks now and then to feel the blood rushing thru my veins. Respect for others came when I learned that I deserved my own respect too. No matter how many strolls you take towards others, it’s when I come home, to myself, that the experience gathered proves worthy and life gets richer and more worth living.

One of my toughest battles was how to make use of my abilities. I’m no wiz, but I’m aware of my potential, and I always have been. Not being able to put that to good use was one of my biggest frustrations. It’s like living in a maze. You know where you want to go, but have no clue on how to get there. Feeling time flying by me and accomplishing nothing was stressful enough, not counting on all other problems that the average human being has. That’s when I learned the importance of having someone that is supportive and that helps you start and to overcome some obstacles.

Cooling down and realizing that everything has it’s own time and place to happen was almost like a revelation. It might seem so stupid and evident, and still, to cross that bridge it took me almost 30 years. Better late than never, I guess.

At this point I’m involved in what seems to be a possible beginning to my professional dream. Stress is a part of my profession, and dealing with it is getting easier, although sometimes I forget momentarily some of life’s lessons.

I’m too active to stop, and sometimes to slow down, so my breaks are taken in helping others in a way I needed others to help me before. I chose to be supportive.

Orgasms are found in many forms, not only in sex. That’s why I claimed that fulfilling your dreams is the most important thing in your life. Weather it’s a profession, a private project, a hobby, leisure time, having kids… whatever suits you best. And meeting those goals can be as good as a sexual orgasm. In fact, frustration over those dreams can prevent you even from having satisfying sex.

I told a friend one of this days that my life is filled with ugly ducklings. As I write this post I realize that this is a half truth. You see, some of them have changed into beautiful swans before my eyes, with the help of their friends.

Don’t be afraid to give. Forget about giving back, just give. Take the first step expecting nothing in return. Help people around you to fulfill their dreams. As they become happy about themselves, you become happy too. Isolation is a path that leads to loneliness and eventually you will reach your limits. Even a genie is limited by it’s life time. So why fulfill only one dream if you obviously have some many more? Accept your friends help, get ahead of your limitations and be more than you can be by yourself. Can you guess this feelings name?

Facing Life

2007-02-03T12:21:00.001Z

No matter how much money you have, some things money can’t buy. It helps like hell having it thou.

What’s inside of you can’t be changed thru money, unless it’s some illness that medicine has mastered. But what I’m really talking about, is an inner journey.

Unlike the common existential crisis most of us seem to have while teenagers, in which we try to force the acceptance of ourselves in the world by pushing others aside, achieving inner peace and calmly watching the world around us is much more about going with the flow. You row your own boat, decide were you want to go, but if you mean to head down the river, there is no point in rowing upstream.

Some friends of mine are going thru some difficulties. It has always been my nature to help my friends, and even some that aren’t friends. One in particular deserves my special attention right now.

Having tried to reach him, I found this guy in the loneliest place I can think of. Inside himself. He shut out the world and protected himself from harm. A world of his creation was built in his mind, especially for his own needs, adjusted to protect his weak spots. And right now, they where all around.

I was there myself, at the age of 15. The world was just too confusing to live in, and so, I created my own world, with rules I could understand and live by. So I know the type of hell he got himself into. I’m a bit like the main character in the movie “Constantine”. If you haven’t seen it, get to it. It’s a must. I’m not going to tell you the whole story. All you need to know right now is that Constantine can walk in both worlds, ours and Hell. Having his own problems, which he cant solve, he seeks redemption by helping others. He expels demons from Earth and rescues lost souls from Hell. I guess we all have a mission in life.

I’m not sure of the exact rules of my friend’s personal world, but I am aware of the type of rules. This means that I can walk thru white hot charcoal and not get burned… much.

I believe that my friend has 2 problems, and they are the exact problems that Constantine fixed. A demon that must be expelled, and a soul that needs to be rescued. I’ve seen signs of both.

I went out with him recently, and his soul showed me a glimmer. It’s an amazing feeling when you see someone that has been lost inside himself gets that glow in the eyes when he feels he has accomplished something. His soul is there, intact, pure has mountain water. He just needs to be brought back.

You could ask why do I do this. Everyone else seems so tangled in their own lives, too busy to lay a helping hand. Well, let me tell you. The world can’t afford to lose someone like him. It’s people like him that keep this ugly reality we live in bearable. It’s people like him that shows the way to hope. So, my world, and yours would be much poorer without him. That’s why he needs to get back from that Hell he got himself into.

I could carry him back, but that isn’t the right thing to do. He has his own battle to win, which will leave scars. Those scars will be his medals. I’m sure that he can make it on its own. Perhaps all he needs is someone to point him the way out.

Thanks for that sign of hope you gave me kid. I was doing this on an act of faith. Right now, I have something real in which to believe. You are still with us, just in another dimension. Come back home, your friends are waiting with open arms.

Master of the Wind

2007-02-03T10:14:00.001Z

When I was a kid, sitting in front of the TV was one of my main activities. I used to watch a lot of wild life documentaries, which I don’t anymore, since they all look ancient news to me.

I remember distinctly one about an amazing bird called the albatross. If I tell you I was impressed, that’s an understatement. The albatross can fly further and with less effort than any other bird in the world. It does that by taking advantage of the shape of it’s body, but also it’s ability to master the wind currents.

Apart from taking off, you rarely see an albatross flap it’s wings. It knows how not to need it. When in the air, this creature becomes one with the space and the surrounding forces. Unlike other birds, the albatross doesn’t fight against what surrounds, it takes advantage of the main forces and adjusts them to it’s needs.

The title might be misleading to some. The albatross doesn’t command the winds, but ratter knows how to recognize them. Knowledge is your greatest asset. It’s what allows you to use your intelligence and decide what to do next.

Seeing this bird fly is one of the most relaxing things you can do. Straight, assertive, the albatross doesn’t seem to make mistakes. In it’s very calm way, it flies where it wants. No sorrows, no turning back, every change in it’s flight is as wide as possible, so it doesn’t waste energy. It’s secret… the albatross takes the easy path. It doesn’t fight off the nature of the winds, which are too strong for it’s frail wings.

We should all learn a lesson from the wise albatross. Humans are poorly built too. Body and mind are weak, and should be cared for. Stress in our lives can be like the wind to the albatross. Don’t fight the flow, that would be like running against the bulls in Pamplona. If you want to be effective like the albatross, redirect the flow instead of trying to stop it. You will stay in the air much longer, with fewer concerns and live a much happier life.

Mastering the winds will enable you to look ahead to long term goals, decide what you want for yourself and actually have the energy to do it.

Even a storm will have main flows of energy. Chose wisely and get on board of one. Even if it’s not perfect (nothing ever seems to be), you can make use of your little force to redirect it a little to meet your dreams. If you fail, well, you’ve got the best ride there is.

Maybe your dreams were a bit too far ahead for the world you were born in. Don’t worry about that. Try not to be so selfish that everything has to be you and about you. If life brings you 90% happiness, please don’t focus on the last 10%. Enjoy what you’ve got. Count your blessings and you may realize that you are actually much luckier than you thought.

On your journey thru life, inspire others. Some people are a bit like comets. They pass us by in a blaze. Set us on fire and disappear with the blink of an eye. They still can leave a lasting impression. Make that impression a good one. Let others learn from your mistakes, even if your home is where you hang your coat. Even if you have the soul of an albatross, while you fly by, someone might see you and realize something important about how to have an easier flight.

Master the winds by mastering yourself first. Search within for the right questions to ask.

He ain't heavy, he's my brother

2007-01-31T22:10:00.001Z

The hollies released a song a long time ago with this title. Recently I’ve rediscovered it, and once again I’ve started thinking. Pay good attention to the lyrics, it’s worth it.

I know that many days when you get up in the morning, you just feel like going back to bed, or cursing everyone and everything around you. No matter what might happen that day, you always have a good chance to discover the unexpected.

You never know what will happen, who you will meet. Sometimes it might be a jerk or a bitch, but others you might find a good friend. And friends might even become very good friends.

We live in a world that tries it’s best to push us in going faster and further, creating such a huge pressure that sometimes a warrior can’t stand it and falls on it’s knees. That warrior might be you or me, or someone else. And the name of the game is everyone for itself. You guessed it wrong.

It was about 3 years now, that one of the best teachers I’ve had so far told me that “when in a tight spot, friends are what gets you by”. That sentence still knocks on the back of my mind from time to time. It was an instant life lesson when I needed it.

Throughout my life, I’ve met some friends in unsuspecting days. Those where the best friendships I’ve made so far, most still last. And all it took was to reach out to them with an open heart. Or let them discover who I am.

Over the years, some very complicated issues have happened to me, in which I went down to the bottom of the pit. A friend eventually helped me up. Other times I’ve been there for others, and my only reward was a smile, which was more than enough. And that has been both the best use of my free time, and a way to sometimes let aside my personal and complicated problems while I was unable to handle them.

When you help out a friend, that is never a burden. Some friends are more than brothers. If you would do that for a brother, and it wouldn’t feel heavy, why not for a good friend?

Helping out those in need isn’t always about lending money or solving some legal issue, or even helping someone get a job. Some times, helping someone to smile is a bigger achievement than all the rest. Help someone to rediscover the surrounding beauty in nature, the gift of life. Do it freely, expecting no reward. Spend some of your free time with your friends, whether they need help or not.

Karma was a word taught to me by a friend. Not knowing, I always practiced it from the start. Do good, and eventually it will come back to you. One thing I can promise you, your life will feel much more fulfilled. As years go by, you will look back and find a trail of love behind you, with friends by your side.

So keep in your mind, he ain’t heavy, he’s your brother.

Being a hero

2007-01-28T12:29:00.001Z

To how many people do we try to be heroes in our lives? Right now they aren’t many, but they have been over the years. It’s been some years since I realized that heroes pass us by in the street and we don’t even know it. They are not mediatic, the TV and the newspapers don’t talk about them. Still, they are there, day in and day out. So how do we tell who they are?

Lets start looking in our own houses. Real heroes are usually shy and don’t do stunts for public display. They do something better. Instead of one time achievements that hit the tabloids, they keep it real every day. You see, the real heroes are the ones that stand by you thru thick and thin.

You can tell someone is a hero when that person hangs in a shitty job to keep all the bills in order. Or gives up a dream to stand by you. A hero will never let any loved one hurt, even if it hurts him more. Heroes are people that lead a live based on love, and sacrifice a lot do give a little bit. Still, a hero will never throw it in your face. Perhaps you have a hero in your own home, or you are one yourself.

No matter how unselfish you are, it will hurt sometimes when you feel that people don’t appreciate your efforts or fall back on your expectations. You give it all for someone and sometimes that someone doesn’t realize that luck has knocked at his door. But a hero seldom complains, because the actions and sacrifices taken were from the bottom of the heart.

Loving parents know this. The sacrifices that they do everyday show that a smile from their child is sometimes a better reward than risking in going after a professional dream, or giving themselves a treat, like a sports car, a better house or brand clothes.

Now humans are building bugs. Either a family or a career, most of us have to build something. And sometimes, going after one is incompatible with the pursue of the other.

Grownups can handle most anything, and they have the structure to cope with disappointment. If you are being a hero to a child, never promise anything that you can’t do. After the first broken promise, it will be easy to just keep going on, thinking that they will understand and that you can make it up later. That won’t happen. Children will forgive you, but they wont forget. Constant disappointments from the people they thrust the most will leave scars throughout life.

Whenever you bet on one way or the other, make sure you take it serious. If you chose to have a career, bet on it heavily. When it’s time to start your family, never fail them. Make sure you get down on the dirt with the kids, participate in each other activities and spend time together. We can all be heroes, and in more ways than one.

Believe me, for instant actions, most of the time you cant tell if someone was brave or just stupid. Continuity in making an effort for someone else’s happiness, that’s what I call courage. Only love will make you keep going, forgiving and being forgiven. Respect however, will make you go that extra mile not to hurt the one’s you love.

Friends are all that matters

2007-01-23T18:50:00.001Z

Last Saturday night I was honored with the invitation for a friend’s birthday party.

I didn’t knew most of the people there, but everyone was so friendly and easy going, that I felt mostly among friends.

Dinner has rather fun, with some nice ladies there, loads of jokes and some pranks too. But the best part was yet to come. One of the pranks involved a plucked chicken that I took there, and served on a plate to a friend. This was on account of a private joke that happened some years ago, and is still famous.

Some compliments were exchanged between me and that guy, and believe me, in spite of being a jokester and a prank lover, I would be insane to compete against him. That guy is positively nuts and has absolutely no moral barriers in what he can say or do. Never the less, he is responsible and I have never heard of him toying with anyone’s safety or feelings.

Thing is, that chicken got more than it bargained for. Not only it was a revival of some shocking memories, but it led to something completely unexpected. I traded it for the waitress phone number. That’s right folks, a chicken for a number. It happened to me, and I still cant believe it. I paid around 2,5€ for that chicken, had a good laugh and later recycled it by trading it for a way to connect to a hot waitress. Not bad, huh?

After we left the restaurant, we went on to a bar. There was a band playing, and we joined in with the crowd, singing our lungs out and dancing like there was no tomorrow.

We sang Happy Birthday to Bruno, and lifted him up in the air. Now that was special. That’s when you can tell that someone is lucky enough to have friends that are there for you at all times. And recently, he was there for me. We don’t thank each other anymore. This kind of friendship doesn’t need that. We just give back went it’s time to help each other out.

In the middle of the night, you sometimes see people slow down and get that empty look in the eyes. You can distinctly tell that all is not ok with them, and sometimes you force yourself into a mood change not to ruin other people’s party. I must had been one of those empty eyes at some point, and I saw some others there too. I guess everyone has it’s own problems. But when you get together to celebrate the birthday of a friend like this, all is left behind.

There was one other thing that impressed me more than anything, and it happened during dinner. The way that Bruno’s sister looked out for her other brother. You can sense when love is in the air, whatever kind of love it is. Complicity and tenderness was what I felt from the outside. Sensitivity let’s you know this kind of stuff. I owe that to the women in my life.

There really are much more elegant ways to life than reacting with a hot head and loosing your patience. And there it was, the proof that my thoughts were correct.

I must congratulate this set of brothers. From one I gained a friendship that is unique so far. Not so much because of being someone so special that he can stand out in any crowd. He came around in the precise moment I needed a friend the most, and stood by me. Protected his space, respected himself and took no crap from me, even when I pushed people away due to the massive frustration I felt in my life and the way I was being screwed.

I applauded his courage in pursuing the love he felt once for someone that was very special to him. Even thou I knew the real reasons he had for leaving his country, family and friends, my hug and best whishes were given to him. When he came back, I welcomed home a man that had the maturity to realize that the quest he took was for a grail that didn’t existed anymore.

For all this and much more, this post is an homage to a friend that with his soft ways made me understand that rage and frustration leads only to self destruction. This was a friend that rescued my soul and helped me understand how I can help others too. I tend to need someone like this from time to time. I can only hope this time was the last, and if not, I will be a lucky man if a friend like him comes around when I need it again.

We should always let people know how important they are to those that surround them before it’s too late. I intend to do that every day with those I come across in my path.

You’ve got a good angle on life kid. Hope I can measure up to your example.

Domo arigato gozai masta Bruno san.

The right to be ambitious

2007-01-14T12:32:00.001Z

I was always a dreamer. My hobbies as a child was watching TV and building stuff with LEGO (thank you, oh thank you Mr. Ole Christiansen). I was an early reader as well. By the time I was 7, I had read Louis Pasteur’s biography, was able to read 2 books intended for children per day, was fascinated with a book about astronomy that my mother let me chose from a door to door salesman, tried to explain everything around me, and so on.

To tell you the truth, I still do most of those things nearly 25 years later. Except for the LEGO, which I replaced with some more challenging stuff. Oh, and I’ve lost patience to read huge books that rattle on about nothing just to get the story solved in the last 5 pages. What a waste of paper, and of my time.

I didn’t knew why, but the stars always fascinated me. Later I found out that the depths of the ocean did too. Physics and electronics, math… all those were absolutely fantastic. The conclusion I later came to, was that I was fascinated by anything I couldn’t directly touch. Worlds that need some elegant form to be seen, manipulated and understood.

Years went by, and I still get that glitter in my eyes whenever I sense an opportunity. I’m a child again, dreaming of the possibilities, getting everyone’s attention to that problem and trying to solve it.

Now I’ve come to a point that I can honestly say that the difference between a boy and a man is how much their toys cost. I’m starting to enter the big league, and already I aim to do something extraordinary.

I’ve always sensed ever since I was a kid that my life would be something out of the common. That’s my oldest passion. The Chinese have a saying that states “may you live in interesting times”. They also have another that has become my personal favorite “It’s better to light a candle than to curse the dark”.

I think I have both at hand. This are certainly interesting times we live in, and I keep trying to light candles. I know that it will someday necessary for me to leave Portugal in search of more. And if I can make what I want here, money wont be an issue. Just how people function. I need to see for myself if the stupid actions we take in this country are taken abroad also.

Poverty is a serious thing, but spiritual poverty is all the more grave. That depends on you. Not everyone can excel, and I don’t even think that I’m something else. I just try. I try to achieve my full potential. Having someone better than me doesn’t bother me. I feel like I’m part of a global team, that everyone has a responsibility over mankind, and we all can contribute with a little something.

Intelligence is probably our greatest asset. One of the gifts we all received when entering life. Some with more, others with less, we can all come out with new ideas and concepts, that others might even develop, but that someone had to think of.

One of the most difficult things to conquer are people. We create some of the greatest difficulties in getting ahead. That is why for me, I will get every thing I can from this country as fast as I can. Some day I will break out, carrying with me the knowledge I scraped for myself, and use it were people aren’t so near sighted. I feel it’s easier to make something for Portugal from abroad than from here.

Having vision in here is a nice way to get enemies. Most everyone hate the idea of changes. The Portuguese are so used to having little that whenever someone gets to a position that allows some changes to happen, he or she serves himself before the company or the country. Fertile ground for corruption.

I don’t want to settle down for long. Just enough to help things to change for the better, and then to head for other challenges.

Learning while I cut open my path, I will eventually get there. To be able to be in a position that allows me to give something back. That’s when I will come full circle.

Having to chose between friends

2007-01-14T12:24:00.000Z

Sometimes life plays tricks on you. It’s never an easy task to have to chose between friends, but what if you really have to?

The very idea might seem appalling, and believe me, I don’t like it either. But I sometimes have been placed in that spot, and when you feel there is no way out, everything must turn practical or it’s your heart on a stick.

This really isn’t easy to explain. In the end someone always gets hurt. And selfish as it might seem, if you face life’s responsibilities towards yourself and the ones you love, no matter how much it pains you, the answer is right before you.

To get in a little deeper on the subject, this one is about people that you hold close to your heart and that disappoint you. With or without guilt, on purpose or not, those people eventually make you suffer and the shit is, you are always the common factor.

Now, some years ago I devised a strategy to prevent people from hurting me. It’s really very simple. Expect nothing from them, that way they cant disappoint you. No disappointment, no pain. This is the part you can control.

What you can’t control is when you look into someone’s eyes and Kaboom… you’ve surrendered. There is no way out, no turning back, you are there.

If that person doesn’t feel the same, you will hurt and she wont even know it. If she is bright enough, she can tell. Being friends, the last thing she will want is to hurt you. But that’s beyond her control.

So, you find yourself in an emotional crisis. What do you do? Keep in touch with that person, which is what you want the most, and see her get on with her life elsewhere? Or do you step aside and drift away, drunk with feelings that you don’t want to understand, and get on with your own life?

Now this is the part where you need to chose between friends. At that point, keep being friends with her is not compatible with being friend to yourself. Just thinking of her hurts you, not to mention talking or seeing.

Decisions like these never come easy. You reach deep into your gut, and rip out the answer. And your self-esteem came thru. Being your own friend was the way to survive. You just couldn’t bare hurting anymore and life had to go on. To many things going on, a family crisis, keeping functional at your job, deciding about what direction you want your life to head… and you plunge into work. Die to the world, find a nice cave, get in and lick your wounds until you hibernate.

Working has a mild healing effect. It’s not an all healing balm, it can’t fix some of the scars. And if you don’t stop in time, it can get addictive. But when your life seems like a deck of cards that was pushed off the table, it’s an easy solution. At least you are making some sense out of chaos and feeling that at least a part of your life is being successful.

Radical changes can really give you some sort of redemption. The advantage of a new start is that you can be as bold as you like and screw everyone else’s opinion. This was when robots came into my life. And this was when I worked the most, for the smallest pay in my life too. But you know what? It was worth it. I lost that sense of insecurity that was holding me back, and managed to look up into the sky again. And this time, there was no need for rain to hide the tears.

Volkswagen was a huge project. One that in spite of all the flaws that occurred, taught me a lot about coordination, security, team work, and I was able to see what it was like to really apply quality and management tools in a crisis situation were everyone panics. Keeping cool under pressure is nothing less than fabulous. After leaving it, more robots followed. And amazingly, they still do.

Robots are a demanding mistress. They fuck you up, drain all your energies, keep you from family and friends, but also get you to heaven in ecstasy. It’s easy to forget the rest of the world when they get under your skin. I usually forget to eat, so it shouldn’t be too hard to understand the kind of fascination. When you get bitten by the industry bug, you will know what I’m talking about.

During this period I was put to a test that I nearly didn’t came out of. But what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger right? That’s only partly true, because every battle leaves it’s scars. Anyway, I’m glad about the joint effort that this family has put into getting out of the hole. Finally, honesty, truth, hard work, tolerance and especially, a lot of love made what wasn’t there for 30 years. A family unit.

Before all this, that required me to be my friend, and keeping friend with someone that had no chance to avoid hurting me (it was out of her hands), I had to make the only possible choice. Guilt was never an issue. And if guilt existed, it was mine. But the damage was done and I needed to keep walking. So you see, sometimes when friends don’t walk the same track for some time, that doesn’t mean that they have turned their back on each other. Sometimes you just need to make it on your own.

The right to what kind of life?

2007-01-13T11:06:00.001Z

Pregnancy interruption is on the Portuguese agenda once again. The society finds itself divided in matters of opinion, and a lot of talk is done, without much thinking as far as I’m aware of.

Passion rules the game, and so, people don’t reason much about this when they let their ideologies and personal feelings take charge, shutting out any other argument. From careful and respectful discussion could bring some light into this, but people don’t allow that to happen.

This is not the first time that the Portuguese are called to vote on this subject. The last referendum was actually a disgrace, since the abstinence was so high that the decision made was as far as I can see not a true image of the country’s opinion.

Two basic scenarios come to mind. People with money, and people without. The rich will always be in the clear. Spain is just a few kilometers away. Cross the border, no one knows you, get a safe and legal abortion and you can get back to the sanctity of your life with an untouched image. And all for a measly 1000€ or so. To some this is peanuts.

Then there are those with less money, but that can still afford it, or have someone that loans them the money, It’s still possible, and gets done in the same terms.

Last, of corse, come those that have no money to overcome this obstacle. Wishing to make an abortion or not, these people cant get by well in life. Pain is already a steady companion of them. Usually, birth control isn’t what they think of. Condoms are expensive, a steady couple wont want to use them anyway, and other contraceptive methods have side effects too. So every solution has it’s own faults. Nothing is perfect.

Faced with the choice to have more kids, this decision is not one that any woman can make lightly. Her body is in jeopardy, her health too, and unlike physical scars, the emotional ones will last forever. This has nothing to do with your social status, feelings are universal.

I have been in contact with some very nasty situations, and believe me, no matter what kind of decision you make, suffering is on the way if you are poor. Unfortunately that is the majority of society.

I’ve heard many talk about the responsibility of the life on the way. I hear nothing about the responsibility of the lives that already where born. A family with 4 or 5 kids and no financial resources isn’t uncommon. Leave your Mercedes at home and take a walk on the poor neighborhoods. Blend in and see in what conditions people there have to live in.

If you cant even feed your born children, dress them and provide them with a proper education, what sense is there in having another? The old idea that were 3 eat, 4 can sit, has died a long time ago. In order to progress in life, you need health care, a good family environment, and decent education. Bringing another member to the family, as harsh as this may seem, it’s not just another mouth to feed. It requires a lot more resources than that to give that person a healthy beginning in life, and a chance to be professionally competitive later on. What is happening is that this kids will grow up in lousy conditions, hurting from the beginning, and having no perspectives in one day getting out of the though neighborhood, lead an honest life and having their own healthy family. They will carry too many traumas for that, having felt outsiders in their own country, left out by their own people. What sane mother would want that for a son?

Social services exist, and that’s one of the main reasons of the people against abortion advocate. Easy to talk about what you don’t know. How many have seen the conditions those places offer? Do we as a society really provide a way out thru those institutions?

Also, I can’t forget that mega scandals related to pedophilia have hit the courts, relating at least one of the most prestigious institutions. Things aren’t still fully disclosed, but smoke doesn’t come without fire, unless you use dry ice.

This particular scandal made the nation feel nauseous, and after some 30 years of attempts, it finally came to the court stand, were it lies for some years now, involving some of the most respected figures of society, that apparently found young male kids asses a delicacy.

So, in the end, these institutions function as… chicken farms? And periodically we take some to the slaughter house to feed the rich perverts that pay enormous amounts of money for the privilege of eating a forbidden fruit in total secrecy? I find this so called humanity a perfect joke, that was never funny at any point.

As long as we can’t provide a safe and healthy future for the children that cant be looked after by their families, we have no right to act all moralist. No mother or father would want to pass the chance to have another son as long as they had a sufficient economic condition.

Do we really want to give the right to a life that might be profoundly filled by frustration, rejection, hate, anger and other traumas? It really is easy to be a boss in other people’s houses.

Music has been much of my inspiration in a lot of subjects over which I sometimes think about. One in particular hits the spot in this matter, although I’m not aware if it was written based on the same problem. Here it is, it’s quite famous for many, but some may not have paid enough attention to the lyrics:

Metallica – Until it sleeps

Where do I take this pain of mine

I run but it stays right by my side

So tear me open and pour me out

There’s things inside that scream and shout

And the pain still hates me

So hold me until it sleeps

Just like the curse, just like the stray

You feed it once and now it stays

Now it stays

So tear me open but beware

There’s things inside without a care

And the dirt still stains me

So wash me until I’m clean

It grips you so hold me

It stains you so hold me

It hates you so hold me

It holds you so hold me

Until it sleeps

So tell me why you’ve chosen me

Don’t want your grip

Don’t want your greed

Don’t want it

I’ll tear me open make you gone

No more can you hurt anyone

And the fear still shakes me

So hold me, until it sleeps

It grips you so hold me

It stains you so hold me

It hates you so hold me

It holds you, holds you holds you until it sleeps

I don’t want it want it want it want it want it

So tear me open but beware

There’s things inside without a care

And the dirt still stains me

So wash me ‘til I’m clean

I’ll tear thee open make you gone

No longer will you hurt anyone

And the hate still shapes me

So hold me until it sleeps

Once upon a time in the West

2007-01-03T19:36:00.001Z

I must had been a teenager when Dire Straits released this song. Nothing much about it. It has Knopfler’s magic touch in the guitar, a nice rhythm, but that’s about how far it goes. It was never one of my all time favorites.

Thing is, not everything or everybody can be exceptional. Real remarkable things or persons get to be seen like that because they rise above of the common. Still, the common is what keeps us in a day-by-day basis.

It’s common to hear this phrase: “Xmas should be everyday”. Couldn’t disagree more. Xmas is a special occasion precisely because we have it once a year. Of the 356 days, only one is formally dedicated to that festivity that in the modern days has too many strings attached to it, but still, families gather and that’s what it’s all about.

We should all be disciplined enough to limit special things in our lives, and have them on special occasions. Turning them into a routine strips them from that special character. They become common, and pretty soon dull.

You can extent that to all things in your life. A malt whisky, a sports car, a good movie, night out’s, that special someone…

Sticking to the last example, let’s try and foresee what happens when you consume a person in excessive doses. This is no surprise to many, but some may sometimes forget it.

Imagine you have a neighbor that’s excessively friendly. You even like the guy, think he is OK, but he starts coming around one time too often. Any excuse is a good one to knock on your door. Never mind his or her motives, you start getting tired of that. Soon enough you can’t do anything in your life, just to attend to that person’s solicitations.

Now, imagine this happening with your better half. Suffocating is an understatement.

No matter what our needs are, we should always limit some of our impulses and think on the other persons needs too. The first time I knock on her door I might get a kiss, but by the tenth time that day, I’ll be lucky if she doesn’t unleash the dogs on me. Giving breathing room is what it’s all about. I much ratter receiving a smile and a kiss from a girlfriend than making out with her Pit Bull.

Back to the songs, everybody has it’s favorites. Songs that we love, and that touches in deep. Some tickle that dancing vein we have inside and gets us jumping, others makes you want to lie on the sofa with a nice drink and just relax. If you abuse that pleasure, you will start to get fed up with it, later on nauseous, and finally scream out loud “will someone please get me out of this?”

So what starts as a well intended pleasure, will eventually turn into something kind of ugly. And why? You abused it. Lack of discipline in consumption.

By now some have already crucified me and are getting the cross up so I can be on public display, but hold on a sec. Even thou you might be in love, and want to spend every waking moment with that someone, that doesn’t mean that it’s what you need. You see, many times what you need and what you want are two different things. And if you like that person for real, and want to be with her, what you want is to be together, but what you need is to make her feel comfortable with you and not scare her off. I’ve seen that happen so many times I’ve lost count.

This is why the common things play an important part in everyday life. I have some very nice restaurants near my place. I can take a girl there and make it special. But if I do it every night, in spite of costing me a fortune, it will lose that special character, and one night she will probably even ask me to just stay at home.

Same with music. Hear it too many times, and you will eventually burn out some fantastic songs. Keep it short and it will always be special. Too short however, and life will be tasteless. Fill in the gaps with things that are just OK, and you will be fine. Take pleasure in the little things. Many times they are the most important.

Latin men still have some trouble in knowing that sometimes, a woman will prefer to have a listener than a hot lover. Just don’t overdo it, OK? They still like to party in bed. But the point is, life cant be filled by just one great thing. We need diversity to fit every mood we have. Staying in sync with someone is to listen to silent words, interpret a look, reading body language. And that any average Joe can do. All you have to do is pay attention.

Happy 2007

One crisis at a time

2006-12-31T17:54:00.001Z

I’m no hypocrite, and have no problem in admitting that a tooth ache bothers me more than all the hunger in Africa or the abuses to the human rights in China.

If you aren’t going to do anything about it, have no power to change things according to your sense of justice, talking about it and making a sad face is no more than a waste of time and pure hypocrisy.

Especially when you don’t help out, put on a poor show about it and got out to dinner in a fancy restaurant or spend a bundle in a perfume.

I’m not against luxury, the luxury goods industry creates many jobs and prevent a lot of people from having to compete with others less qualified that would have no chance against them. In fact, luxury goods are what create the need for excellence and advance in technologies.

I woke up early this morning and read a magazine I bought yesterday, that is supposed to bring you up to date with the world matters. Social issues and politics, some scandals and tricks used by the rich and famous to rise above the crowd and be successful in life. Basically it adds nothing to my perception of human relations and what people are capable of to get a minute attention by the media. Some articles are interesting thou. Not too profound, more like an appetizer.

One spoke of the new trend of seven stars hotels. The rich are fed up with the lack of exclusivity they get at a Sheraton, for instance. They want to be indulged, have no one bothering them while they take time off. I can understand that very well. Being stalked by the press and fans everywhere you go has to be emotionally exhausting. Even I, an ordinary Joe, many times want to take some time off from the world and my of life.

Taking time off is one of the best things we can do, otherwise our entire existence is drowned in what we usually do, and there is not time left to get to know other realities, forms of thinking and life styles. What we call cultures. That leads us to evolution. And since evolution is based on change, to many, a crisis can occur.

Some of us have evolved into something called “crisis manager”. We perform what is multitasking in computation. Let’s get a little technical here.

Lot’s of computers were sold (and still are) with a single word. Multitasking: the ability to perform numerous tasks simultaneously. And the salespersons showed that happening, right in front of the shoppers very eyes. You can listen to music, be on the internet, play a game and burn a DVD all at the same time. Well, that’s just the sugar coat. In reality, what you have inside that computer is no more than a single processor acting like a fireman. The operating system (managing program) is guiding his actions, telling it when to work on a task, what to do, how fast and for how long. By cycling very fast the tasks at hand, to the shopper it seems that the computer can actually do a lot of stuff at the same time.

The only way a computer can do more than one task at a time, is by having more than one processor. That way, it can be working on more than one task at a time, without interrupting to put out the next major crisis at hand.

It might seem that we are like computers. That is almost correct, except for the timeline. Computers are like humans. Having only one brain, we too can only solve one problem at a time. Remember the panic button? That is what the computer is doing when you ask it to do more than one thing simultaneously. The big difference here is that computers are designed to work like that, while we weren’t. OK, not entirely true. We have that potential, but require some training, respect for ourselves and our space and mostly, serenity.

Managers are required to have those and other skills. Be able to work like a bottleneck that receives information, prioritize it, work, decide, and come out with answers to the problems posed. Since we are all managers at some level, we all are required to do the same thing.

Computers use something called a stack to keep track of what they have to do, done already and what happened to that information. Mathematically it’s a fabulous idea and in theory it works like a charm. In practice, sometimes it doesn’t. The physical world still has some secrets and we can’t yet explain everything. The exceptions to the rule happen so few times that they become unimportant and easily solved. Hit the reset button and you are on your way again. But the important thing here is, computers have flaws too. And we designed them, so we know almost everything about them.

Nature designed the human brain. We are still poking it and seeing what happens. We came with no instructions manual, so that’s the only way we have to try to figure it out. I got a taste of it when I was asked to learn how to program a robot that was in a German based programming language. Needless to say, I can only swear in German, and I’m still lousy at it.

Having only one brain, we have to act like the crazy fireman that runs off to the one with the biggest flames, and cycle thru them while trying to keep the whole house from burning down. Since we did not designed our brains and our knowledge over it is still very little, variables like emotions can cause a crash in our organic processor, AKA brain.

So, not knowing much about what our brain really is and how it works, we were still capable of building a machine that has those functions we already know of, and made it better: much faster, extremely precise, reliable, and recently, quite cheap. But it still can fail. If somehow it loses control over what is happening, it freezes. The panic button is still being pounded and the stack eventually fills up. Memory overflow. You just ran out of memory in which to store information about the new demands, and that is because you could not empty the stack fast enough.

Both computers and humans have limitations as to how fast they can get work done. And sometimes, if you want that job done, you will just have to wait.

In the modern world waiting is a forbidden word. We all want everything NOW. That is why we have memory overflow’s, and are increasingly making use of the reset button. Have you noticed how much more drugs we are using just to keep up with the pressure? And when drugs don’t work, we always have mental institutions for the one’s that couldn’t handle it.

Success is measured in a lot of ways. Technical abilities are required, but some expertise in emotional intelligence is fundamental. Let’s get tech again.

Most people associate the word Protocol to politics. Actually, a protocol is a set of rules that enable two entities to communicate. It’s like a language. You can understand me because we are using the same protocol, the English language. Well, humans need more than just a common spoken or written language. They need a behavioral protocol in order to be compatible. And in the case of emotional intelligence, it’s even harder, because the rules are always changing. You have to sync with the other person.

Try to picture yourself blind and using a cane to move around. You have to touch the objects in your path in order to avoid them and get safely to your destination with no bruised legs due to a collision with the coffee table or the fire hydrant. That’s how emotional intelligence works. You have to feel were are the emotional hard spots, and avoid them in order to get to a smile with the person you are talking to. Otherwise, you might get bruised, and these bruises take longer to heal.

Everyone is talking about emotional intelligence these days. Mostly directed to others. But what about using it on ourselves? We too have a need to keep functional, and when pressure increases, we can only do that thru self-respect. If you don’t respect yourself, you don’t respect your limitations, and eventually you will have to press that reset button. The people that put the pressure on you will criticize you for not knowing when to say halt, alleging that they couldn’t guess when you were over the top. Your crime: no self-respect, and as a consequence, you tried to compensate that by being a nicer guy, that never said no.

Computers were created based on us. We have prepared them to say no. So why do we demand more from us, than from the machines we created to serve us? Can it be that humans already deserve less respect than machines?

Walking thru fire

2006-12-30T17:02:00.001Z

I must say that this last year has been one of the most challenging ever. Even thou my course wasn’t easy, mostly because of my way of dealing with pressure, you can learn a lot in everything you get involved if you truly want to, and keep your eyes peeled.

So, in saying farewell to this year, I’m not going to rattle about new years resolutions, the kind everybody talks and make promises, and eventually never keep. Most of them are made during new years alcoholic waste state, anyway, and don’t even survive the hangover.

In a year of trial by fire, where I had to test myself again in all aspects of life, I must admit that the results weren’t perfect, but very satisfactory just the same.

Even if the prize you aimed for wasn’t achieved, it’s a sign of wisdom when you recognize that other benefits were gained. Life rarely seems fair, and when it does, it’s pure coincidence. We chose to believe in what suits the most to our emotional needs.

So if my goals weren’t achieved like I set them at first, why am I not mad or disappointed? Because that kind of attitude is in the past. You learn how to get jigged with it. Smoothly, not rocking the boat, you get a safer journey, and have more chances to reach your destination. Or you can have one hell of a ride. As long as you enjoy it, it’s OK.

Seeing life through the Budo spirit has brought me the serenity I needed. There are main flows of energy in the surrounding environment. Before I looked at life according to my own perspective of what’s right or wrong. That led me to fight off many of those flows, when a lot more powerful forces than mine weren’t going where I thought they should go. Seeing the world thru my sense of order clashed with reality, and the result: I was always the weakest link.

It’s not that I completely embraced life and it’s reality, it’s my nature to be a rebel at heart and to question everything along the way. It’s just that it doesn’t matter anymore, not the way it did before. Right now I’m playing my part, doing as I’m told. I make my point and let others decide what they want for the team. Getting to the limit had that effect on me. For the second time in my life I was stripped of all forms of control over my destiny and actions, and had to do the one thing I hated the most. Let others in charge.

If you remember basic physics from school, you recall force vectors. I studied that some years ago, about 17 now. At the time, I liked the subject and was quite good at those calculations. What I didn’t grasp was that force vectors are all around us, and can even have a poetic meaning. Martial arts students know that since those same arts were created. Even if you are stronger than the force opposed to you, why fight it? It’s much easier to apply a small force vector and direct it to anywhere you want. Need it to reverse completely? Add a circular motion, make that force go around your center of gravity and direct it back to where it came from. It’s almost like the Moon orbiting the Earth.

Every body has mass, therefore gravity, therefore influence. Even small force vectors can guide great ones. Try to oppose them and you will most likely get squished. We must always remember that alone we are the weakest link.

Walking thru fire was a learning process. I chose the roughest paths. Got burned more often than needed, spent energies in an unwise way and suffered unnecessarily. Today things are different. I don’t care about things that don’t affect my life directly. Screw the world in general. My world is what I focus my energies now, and that includes me, the people I love and my professional career. Everything else comes second.

Continuity seems to be the answer, so, later on, I might come back to this subject.

Something about the way a smile can touch you

2006-12-25T23:55:00.001Z

Time and again I have met people that have had an impact on me one way or the other.

First impressions usually are the most accurate, and last longer. And sometimes even after first impressions, people can still amaze you.

Seeing how a person can overcome the bitterness life has brought and start smiling once again is one of the small miracles we can see every day.

And they do happen, not as often as I would like, but that’s just the way it is. All because people don’t change as we would like them to, but at their own pace. And allowing them to do it when they are ready is the best thing. Giving them breathing space, watching them change into who they really are inside, below the defensive layers we all tend to wear when someone makes you the favor of hurting your feelings.

You get the feeling that the world is out to get you, and you take cover. Duck and hide. Many times I have been in that place, and few of them I was lucky enough to have a friend that helped me slow down and think straight.

Although I know what it’s like to go thru it, it never ceases to amaze me whenever someone regains sweetness in their eyes. And I enjoy it like a gift life has brought me. To see a friend get back on track, smile and accept love and serenity.

Just having love and serenity isn’t quite enough. You have to make the right choices. Go after what you really want, and dare to risk.

I could talk all I wanted about struggling to become successful, working hard and making a living, but what good would that do without a smile? Perhaps the smile of the one you want beside you? Or yours?

This may seem mushy, but it’s something I learned some years ago. Life without poetry is like soup without salt. You eat it because you are hungry, but take no pleasure in it.

We all like having a self-image of a good guy, someone that is always there to help out a friend in need. There comes a time, however, when that friend is you. And poetry should be about what makes you feel good when doing something for a friend. By now you should have realized that poetry is just another name for love.

It has been a privilege to be able to escort some people in their path back to having poetry in their life. One in particular that will have no trouble in knowing who she is. Big changes have happened in the last months, all for the better. At first I only had faith in you. Now there is so much more. You have showed me that you are for real. Your strength has materialized, you have goals for which you are fighting for, and you have sweetness in your eyes. Seeing you smile has touched me in a special way. Thank you for allowing me to be there. I can only wait to see what more surprises you have up your sleeve. And I know you are strong enough. Question is, do you believe it?

The importance of unimportant

2006-12-08T12:52:00.001Z

Catchy phrase, isn’t it? I thought so too. Thing is, it’s much more than a phrase. It’s a way of life. It’s a whole new deal. And how is that? Give stress a break. Let’s get down to a lower level and check out how this is done.

For starters, I’m not unique, which means that there are a lot of people out there that take their life and goals a little too serious. So serious that it became dramatic when certain things were unachievable for one reason or another.

How to cope to that extreme seriousness was a challenge. Things were not always that way. Somewhere along the line, it changed from an innocent childhood to a dark period, caused only by seeing things in black and white, no gray scale. When you feel losing ground, your world crumbling and you can do nothing about it, you have two choices: conformity or rebellion. Either way is not such a great choice. I lacked one very important thing, a midterm. Extremes are very easy choices. It requires no attention to details.

It’s kind of like having a meal. If you want to satisfy your physiological needs, you can go to a fast food. If you aim to give yourself a treat, get to a proper restaurant, order what you know is good, take time to enjoy the wine and whatever food you are served. Don’t rush in, let pleasure work it’s way into your senses.

Changes have become a constant in life, as most people said it would. But when those changes are for the worst most of the times, and it’s out of your control, then you can get really enraged and fight off any one that tries to mess with your reality.

One other aspect is that you get extremely defensive and deny entry into your world. No one gets in unless proven worthy over and over again. And sometimes you feel that conceding that reward is partly a favor you do to those that have been more than common friends for quite some time now. So, very few get there, if any. And the world will never get to know the treasures some of these people have inside, because they just don’t let anyone in.

Well, chilling out happens when you are ready. No matter how much people tell you what to do, how to act or react.

One tip, that no one who really needs it will acknowledge: Things are rarely as important or grave as we see them. Rushing into a response to whatever challenges life poses, usually hands out poor results. Prioritize. Have what’s more important, get to your attention first. Have the humbleness to know when you are over the top. Ask for help whenever you need to. And here’s the gold, take time to do nothing. Allow yourself just to relax and absolutely do nothing. Forget the agenda, toss out that enslaving wrist watch and the ever demanding cell phone. Say goodbye to your boss.

Alone or with a special someone, get out. Get to that special Zen place I was referring to earlier and just let yourself go. Take a break from the world. Even if everything is on fire, there is bound to be someone else to put it out. Even God took some time off at the seventh day.

So, when all things lose their urgency, nature finds it’s own way to fall back into place. Can you do that? Stop red lighting everything in your life? It will be worth the try, believe me.

Fear of Perfection

2006-12-03T11:37:00.001Z

Every day has its highlights. You come across people, ideas and concepts that make you go further in who you wish to become. Well, yesterday was no different. Having a conversation over a cup of coffee with a new friend, I told her about my experience as a worker, what I felt like on the factories floor level, and some of the things that I observe.

It was a strange topic to approach with a woman. Rarely are they that perceptive or inclined over such subjects, but it felt natural, so it was right. Talking to her, and then reviewing some of her questions, I started wondering about it a bit more.

In the beginning of my professional life, I couldn't care less about the company I worked for, if things went right or wrong, if my contribution was good or bad. I just tried to learn a bit about the whole deal with the elder co-workers. And it puzzled me that many times they didn't want to work better. Sure they all talked about quality, that if it's for the better, then we should change, but they only talked the talk. I could picture no one walking the walk. Heck, for a 20-year-old guy, that's not the end of the world. Life is so filled with better things to do than to wonder about the boss’s issues. All I wanted was my money in the bank every payday. Like most people, right?

Well, my bridge had a lot of troubled water going under, and sometimes even over it. I hopped from one company to the next, mostly having bad examples and learning how not to do things. Another strange thing... Shouldn't people simply tell you what to do and how to do it? It seems to be much more efficient and logic.

That's all fine and dandy when you think of machines, but here we are dealing with humans and all of their unpredictability. We have emotions rushing thru, and they are seldom logic. So what is it that makes people chose not to work in the best possible way? Why do they deliberately sabotage their work? Here's a hint. Perfection of procedures can be a bit frightening. People actually don't fear changes. What they fear is its consequences.

We like to have everything nice and tidy in our minds. That's why we label people and put them on a shelf like little jam jars. We stick in our heads that we know people we come across, label them and stack them up. It's easier this way. We can then turn them into numbers and account them. “In my lot of acquaintances I have 3 nerds, 1 fat stupid kid, that old crone of a mother in law, a fabulous wife, a chief who's head looks like a watermelon...” and so on.

Rarely do we see a person for all that he/she is. I would risk that we never do that, because we can't. It's too much to get to know on the first time we meet someone. Yet, the label is applied anyway. It's reassuring. And who doesn't like having a guaranty? Even if it's placebo, in our minds we can rest at ease, everything is in its “proper” place.

Of corse this solution has it's problems. As I said in the previous post, the world turned out to be dynamic. So everything is constantly changing at every instant. The time we took to shove the people we labeled into our shelves was enough for other people and the surrounding environment to influence him or her. So, the information we think we gathered is dated already. Sure it's a small change, but it was still produced. And it keeps happening even as you read this. Think about it, every second that passes, everyone you know and will meet in your life is changing.

The problem I was referring to is that when we label people, we don't allow them the right to change, to evolve. They still do, right before our very eyes. The best example I can give you is at everyone's houses. Family. Kids want their parents to always be there.

Parents don't want their kids to grow up. Men don't want their spouses to change. Women hope that their husbands will (women are the exception to the rule). And the reason is the same. Fear of the consequences of that change. We basically fear the unknown. “Will it be good? It will most likely be bad.” Most of us are pessimistic about changes. It seems as if we all have a little Murphy dictating his laws inside our heads. Not surprisingly, we feel and act the same in all aspects of life. Even if we don't panic, we usually always act suspicious about changes. Well, that brings us back to the original topic. Quality at work.

When things go wrong at work, you have to overcompensate in order to keep your goals. Dimensions, robustness, smoothness, deadlines... whatever the client demands and that gets you paid.

Most people don't feel fulfilled at work. If you ask around, most will complain about their bosses, colleagues, working conditions, wages, etc, etc. Some might tell you that they don't mind doing it, and probably very few of them will actually tell you that they love their jobs. Now don't ask this in a research center, people there will most likely love what they do. Ask the average Joe.

Emotionally, we all tend to compensate our flaws. So if we don't feel fulfilled with our jobs, maybe we can feel needed. When things go wrong, the chief or boss will ask me to put out the fire. And I can say that in a proud tone of voice at the bar, at the end of the day when the boys gather for a couple of beers. I said earlier that parents don't want their kids to grow up. Exactly the same reason. To feel needed. Then one day they will rebel, sick and tired of being treated like children, and we suddenly realize that they are taking driving lessons. Or maybe when they ask for the car keys for a night out. The emotional downfall is the equivalent to a car crash going 200 km/h. You go from being the most important thing in a person’s world, to complete uselessness.

Of corse people over react. No one goes from great to shit. But with hurt self-esteem, that's what humans do. They punish themselves for not being able to be number one for another day. For not being your kids hero anymore. And we all want things to stay still, sometimes accepting changes in our lives, but expecting them to be at a pace that we can easily digest. Guess what, no such luck.

The world, even the universe has it's own dynamics, it's own pace. The amount of energy required to alter that would be close to infinite. We are very little, and actually powerless to tip the scales.

Back to the working context, people don't like changes when they feel they are needed. If they already feel they are not an important part of the team, they don't give a rat's ass. Me at the age of 20 :)

Talking about quality doesn't bother them. However, it bothers the ones that are usually called to put out the fires, even if they started it themselves with procedures that they already know are wrong. But it keeps them on their toes, they earn more money doing overtime, and they can brag about it at the bar. It's like watching Homer Simpson at Moe's.

When these people hear a whisper about changes or quality, they usually turn on the panic button. "What will happen next? Will I still be needed? Will I still be called to put out the fire? Will I still be the hero? If the work process gets better, will I still make money doing over time? And what will I tell next at Moe's bar? Life will probably be dull. I won't have any complaints of my own when I get home. I will just have to put up with the crap other people will throw at me, and have none to throw back. People will think I have an easy life. And what if they decide that they don't need me at the factory anymore? If everything is predicted, there will be no emergencies, no fires to put out. I will get sacked”.

You can see here how panic mode works. Besides, people hate changes. If you have never read the book “Who moved my cheese?”, do it. It's a must believe me. Now for the news flash. Jobs aren't steady. For a few dozen years we created the artificial illusion that they are, and that you can land on a company and sit there your entire life, without doing much, demanding as much as possible and no one will ever kick you out. That happened in the post WWII period. This artificial illusion is fading, as we enter a new social concept. Service providers. Entrepreneurs. People that specialize in an area, have small companies and compete with each other for costumers that knows how to seek for the better offer. So quality is here to stay, weather we like it or not. As long as there is someone else providing the same service we do, the costumer will be free to choose. And if you want to stay in business, you better stay on your toes.

You take the same person and put him in two different scenarios. One, in which he works for someone else, and Two, he has it's own small company. You tell me in which situation he will work the hardest, and in which will he embrace quality. In Portugal we have a feeble way of using resources. We are a bit like the Americans, like to use the big guns. Having no patience will eventually do that; you start using a cannon to kill a mosquito. And what is the Portuguese biggest weapon? The jewel of the crown that makes every other foreign corporation envy and seek in Portuguese workers. Resourcefulness. What we call “desenrascanso”. Basically, it means, when you get deep into shit, figure out a way to clean your own ass. And we do, we have that skill.

Most Portuguese are almost like a McGuiver. We are very creative in tough situations, we get the job done with no apparent resources and we get out of tight spots. Trouble is, that might be effective, but it sure as hell aint efficient. To do so, we use tools in a way they were not designed for.

Give a German a nail and ask him to put it on a wall, and he will refuse to do it without the proper hammer. Do the same with the Portuguese guy, say it's an emergency and he will take off his shoe and bang the nail with the shoe's heel. He will ruin the shoe, but the nail will be in place. I think you get the picture. So, resourcefulness doesn't seem like much, does it? If you ruin something that costs 20 times more than the proper tool to do the job, it doesn’t seem like the logic thing to do. That is why I said that we are effective, but not efficient. We tend to call for the artillery to kill that mosquito. How? By using resourcefulness in every situation.

Resourcefulness is great for prototyping, but not for a process that aims to be steady. It's for emergencies only. That is why German teams will usually beat the crap out of ours in such conditions, but one element versus the other in an isolated case, they don't stand a chance. If we could only conquer that need to call for the artillery every time we have a situation that repeats itself, we wouldn't be in this economic shit hole.

All it takes is to forget that the panic button exists, think clearly and study the processes. Keep implementing improvements. There's quality for you. As for the question of not being needed, that's just lack of vision on the part of people. If you improve whatever project you embrace, if you evolve and get better as a person and a professional, even if that company eventually doesn't require your services anymore, others will.

Good professionals are hard to come by, and often well paid. Companies aren't eternal, either way. We see a lot of them going bankrupt, and people that sat tight in their asses thinking that no one would move their cheese, will one day find that nothing lasts forever. Not having evolved, they are the ones that will have a hard time finding another job. So why fear perfection?

Boundless through boundaries?

2006-12-01T15:10:00.001Z

For a long time now, I've thought that leaving this country would be to let go of all things that bind me here.

Not having important worldly possessions, like a house of my own would certainly ease the process. It has occurred to me that it might not be so linear. Some of my most bitter experiences in life have made me need a place to come back to. Having someone there would be fantastic, but still, a place of retirement were you go to lick your wounds and recover from life's blows. Something I eventually called my Zen place.

In truth, life is as complicated as we make it. It's really very simple to work things out if you don't just up and panic. Remaining seated and thinking of the problem with logic is often much more productive and even reassuring to those that surround us. Leadership qualities.

Sometimes it's even better to put a problem to which we don't have a clue, inside a mental drawer. Let it simmer; come back when you think you have the answer. Repeat until you do. Thinking straight requires serenity. Inner peace is what gives you your balance, and with balance you can achieve many things. Here we can work on a static level, wondering about philosophical problems, for instance.

However, in the modern world, things are far from being static. Dynamics seem to be the answer to everything. Fast and furious. Not so fast Jack. Hit the brakes, your are going down.

As any Martial arts student will tell you, most of the techniques they use would be impossible to achieve without one wonderful thing that was probably invented even before civilizations. Leverage. Brute force can take a lot of energy, wear you down, and you might not even get the job done. So a direct approach can be a bit dumb sometimes. However, by using a lever you can multiply your effectiveness and achieve your goals with a lot less strength.

If you have read some of my blog earlier, and paid enough attention, you know by now that no small subject is without a catch. So where is it? Elementary, my dear Watson... Leveraging can be used in every day chores, so it can save your ass. Try to spend a day picking up sacks of cement and you will get an inside view of what I'm talking about.

Wonderful thing about mankind, no matter what we say, we are all lazy. Being lazy is not a bad thing; it just means that you want to spend as little effort as possible in a task. That is why Man became inventive. So, to save his and his fellowman assess, he invented a machine to pick up the sack of cement. Nice, isn't it? Now he can get the job done, faster and with little effort.

Social wise, Man also discovered shortcuts, or longcuts, if you will. Thing is, we became aware that the shortest distance between two points may not always be a straight line. Or the fastest. You just can't do without avoiding dead ends. Learning to deal with people is much harder than learning to deal with machines. Believe me, I know.

Robots might be a stupid thing, but they always do what you tell them. People don't. And they might not even have a reason for it. So it's up to us to be emotionally cleverer, so you can get others to buy your ideas or do what you want them to do. Social leavers. By paying attention to details, small subtleties and working on them, you get to make fabulous things happen.

Think of Formula 1. There really are no bad teams or racers. All of them out there are capable of high performances, way above the common mortal. The difference between really good and excellent sometimes is just a fraction of a second. And what makes them beat that fraction of a second is working hard on details. The closer you are to your limits, the harder it is to make progress.

So what has the initial idea of this post to do with all this? In what way is a Zen place connected to Martial arts or Formula 1? Easy. No enterprise can be achieved thru stress. Turn on the panic mode and you are bound to screw up. You will have to work harder, use more resources than necessary, you won't think straight and if you get by harmlessly it will be plain dumb luck.

I just realized that I have looked most of my enterprises in life like a monster that needed to be tamed. I panicked without a reason, and basically had all that I described above happening to me. The last 10% of my life put me through ordeals that led me to the edge. Either I changed my perspective on things or it would mean the nut house.

Being here writing this is in itself a proof that I've changed for the better. The reason for writing this is that I already embarqued in an enterprise that I feared would bound me and prevent me from ever leaving this country, and that I always saw as a monster. Funny thing thou, I feel more free than before.

So, can it be that it is possible to be boundless through boundaries? That a place to come back to isn't castrative? Actually, my bindings have always been in my mind. That is what always prevented me from taking the next step. I was actually so focused on the problems at hand that I didn't take the time to look for solutions. You guessed it, panic mode. And no, you can't become boundless thru boundaries. What you can do is not get entangled in them.

Boundaries will always be there. Either your own limits, friends, a house to live on, your personal stuff, a girlfriend, kids, and so on. All that help make our lives what they are.

Me, my own Nemesis

2006-11-24T23:47:00.001Z

It is a change that might be too profound for some of my readers, but right now there is someone that justifies that choice.

A certain and very special person doesn’t understand my language, and for me it's important that that person can read my writings and my way of thinking. So, here's looking at you kid. You know who you are.

To everything there is a dark side. In everything we have to include everyone. In everyone I have to include myself. I have made tremendous progress over the past year. Found out a lot about my true self, my abilities and my limits. Especially those last. I must say that it is a wonderful thing to find our limits. I finally have found a way to respect myself in a different way. An honest way. A way in which I don't hold a grudge at myself when I'm not perfect. The ability to forgive myself was a great step. One that took me to power down my brain in order to escape insanity.

Life is sometimes almost too hard to bare. But when you learn to deal with them, it's a whole new different thing. Learning is a tough process. You sometimes have to question things that you cherish, the person in the mirror, the future you dreamt of. Refusing to face reality is allowing your Nemesis to grow inside and overpowering your destiny and the way you affect the people around you.

I don't know if I have found happiness yet. A lot is still missing. But is happiness an absolute thing? Is it only achieved when you fulfill every objective in life? If that is true, it's a really sad reality. Most people will never get to know happiness that way. And although I've given up on wanting life to be fair, I think that it would be a little too cruel.

Having some little things in life to which to hold on to, I get the feeling that happiness can be lived in small bits to which we hold on to and remember with a smirk. There are some things that are missing in my life. Things that will make me pull thru and keep progressing in life. Fatherhood would be one of those things.

It's been some years now since I've started to have the need of having a child in my life. I don't want my mistakes to become an empty learning, that will serve to no one else but me. It would be a joy to be able to help a new life to find an easier way thru its path.

Some other things are important too. They are a bit too private to publish here, thou. Whoever needs to know about them already does, so there is no need for public disclosure. Everyone has the ability to become their own Nemesis.

Whether we become our worst foe or the best friend, it all depends on how much we respect ourselves and choose to lead a life based on truth or not. Love can have a great deal to do with it. Sometimes having the love of someone has the effect of leading us away from the path of self destruction and hatred. The same effect can be achieved when you get rid of bad things in your life and free yourself to dedicate your energies in the pursue of your goals, and happiness. You no longer survive, you start living. And that is no little achievement.

This wasn't one of the most inspiring evening to write. Usually I don't even write when I don't feel really up to it. But tonight it was important to do this and start showing more of me to that person that has become so important to me and can't understand my language. Even so, what's inside of me is no secret. To you kid, my Friday evening over a rainy night. My thoughts were to you all thru this post.

Peter Pan

2006-08-31T14:41:00.000Z

Já conheceram pessoas que vos parecem ser a personificação do Peter Pan? O termo até foi adoptado pela psicologia, onde define uma pessoa que se recusa a crescer emocionalmente, tendo atitudes de criança como mecanismo de defesa. É qualquer coisa assim do género, não sou especialista.

Conheci à cerca de 2 anos atrás uma pessoa que me fez lembrar a dita figura. Hoje, numa noite em que aturei gente terrivelmente chata, e logo no meu primeiro dia de férias, essa pessoa entrou no bar onde eu estava e num dos seus acessos (que só não estranho porque já vi que é normal nela), pergunta-me que história é essa de lhe chamar Peter Pan. Demasiada gente a meter-se na conversa, com copos a mais já vazios em cima da mesa que tinham feito a sua função para gente já de si é meio chata sem ajuda, fizeram com que eu conseguisse esquivar-me à pergunta de maneira airosa. Ou seja, não respondi. Até porque quem lhe contou isso fez o serviço completo e explicou o porquê da alcunha.

Despedi-me dela chamando-a novamente assim, apesar do ar desesperado de socorro que ela tinha enquanto aturava o bêbado chato. Sei perfeitamente que ela se sabe safar sozinha, bem demais até. Defende-se tanto que é preciso ser um louco para tentar furar as barreiras que ela ergue, ou então estar totalmente apaixonado. Sou louco mas de um tipo de loucura ligeiramente diferente da necessária, e apaixonado por ela não estou. Fazer coisas dessas por desporto já me passou (vantagens de ser cota).

Voltando ao assunto, a menina Pan é alguém que exibe marcas profundas de sofrimento, e que ataca antes de as pessoas terem provado as suas intenções. Não a censuro. Já lá estive. Não é agradável e nem quero voltar a viver assim. Demora até percebermos que as pessoas só nos magoam se lhes dermos essa possibilidade, e que magoar primeiro não é garantia de sairmos ilesos. Outra caracteristica dela é ser uma pessoa de personalidade forte, determinada. Creio que ainda não sabe bem em relação ao que é determinada, mas que o é, é e pronto. No fundo, a imagem que me ficou da menina Pan é a de uma criança que não cresceu por não ter preenchido na sua infância aquilo que é normal uma criança ter, viver e sentir. Ela cresce apenas no estritamente necessário para que socialmente possa relacionar-se com as pessoas em volta e cumprir com os seus deveres perante a sociedade. Tem a sorte de ter amigos que compreendem isto e lhe perdoam muitas das suas derrapagens por entenderem que o seu percurso na vida não tem sido fácil que a aprendizagem realizada foi conquistada a pulso.

Por agora é como um metal forjado. Cheia de escória em volta, o aspecto não é dos mais bonitos. Quando perder a casca grossa, e acabar de ser polida pela vida, quem sabe que metal iremos encontrar? Bronze não é ouro, mas é um liga semi-nobre e igualmente belo se o soubermos apreciar.

Todos temos o nosso valor. As diferenças entre as pessoas podem dificultar o encontro com quem realmente desejamos, mas aumentam as probabilidades que essa pessoa exista. O facto de a maioria das pessoas não ser exactamente o que mais desejávamos encontrar, não significa que sejam más ou inuteis. Se tudo fosse ouro, esse metal acabaria por perder o seu carácter especial por falta de termo de comparação. E já vi trabalhos lindissimos feitos com outras ligas metálicas, em que só as formas, o cuidado como foram trabalhadas pode exceder em muito o valor do ouro, que assente no seu valor de base, talvez até nem seja na maioria dos casos trabalhado até que se torne uma obra de arte.

Exigir dos outros que sejam aquilo que não querem ou não estão preparados para ser na altura é em si um acto de violência. Pode ser uma violência motivada pelo amor para forçar um crescimento necessário, mas aí há que saber quando parar, antes que acabemos por ferir irremediávelmente os Peter Pan que existem por esse mundo fora. Está no seu direito crescer quando bem entenderem.

Pés assentes no chão

2006-08-31T08:47:00.000Z

Tive dúvidas durante bastante tempo sobre a publicação deste post, até me esqueci dele. Hoje quando o ia apagar, senti que fazia sentido ainda a publicação destas palavras e dos sentimentos a elas associados. Quem as ler que pense para si se valeram os bytes que ocupam, e se achar que deve, critique pois será bem vindo.

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A serenidade tem o condão de chegar nas horas mais apertadas. O aceitar do destino que se apresenta à frente consegue fazer com que o desespero dê lugar ao alívio e por vezes ao sorriso.

Quando era garoto tinha muito tempo livre no Verão e numa dada altura coincidiu com uma edição dos jogos olimpicos. Revisitando as minhas memórias, recordo que a atenção que dedicava às provas dos atletas me permitiu na altura comentar as suas prestações tão bem como os juízes o faziam, e na brincadeira até atribuia notas que variavam muito pouco das reais que os juizes emitiam segundos depois.

Nunca fui um desportista, e nem nunca mantive essa ilusão. Gosto de actividade física, de me colocar à prova, mas não de competir. A competição impõe contornos demasiadamente sérios e graves a coisas que deveríamos estar a fazer apenas porque gostamos.

Participei naquelas iniciativas escolares em que se fazem algumas provas de corrida e outras, e numa delas, fiquei em último, tendo tido 2 ou 3 elementos a desistir, o que me colocou na referida posição. Na altura não soube porque teimei em concluir o percurso, apesar dos comentários dos colegas. Hoje sei. Nem todos podem ser os melhores. A maioria das pessoas talvez seja boa em 2 ou 3 assuntos, sendo razoável noutros tantos e medíocre em muitas das solicitações que lhes surgem durante a vida. Então não sendo bom na corrida, porque quis eu concluir, ficando em ultimo lugar? Muito simples: metas pessoais. Podemos até nem conseguir concluir a tarefa em mãos, mas se essa é uma meta pessoal que temos, devemos de a levar tão longe quanto possível. Hoje vivo novamente uma situação semelhante. Com o fim do prazo para a apresentação do projecto à vista e sem qualquer esperança de que um milagre possa resolver a situação, tenho a felicidade de me encontrar numa equipa que mesmo sabendo que vai acabar em ultimo, continua a correr enquanto for possível.

Parti para esta prova numa posição desfavorável, mas mesmo assim abracei o projecto. Corri o mais possível com os meus colegas, enquanto pude e dei o contributo que consegui. Creio que já ninguém é louco a ponto de acreditar num final feliz. Mas esta forja acabou por mostrar a fibra de muita gente, garra e dedicação. A aprendizagem aqui produzida e o know-how gerado vai ser desmembrado e acabar por dispersar-se. Nunca se sabe onde e em que condições nos venhamos a reecontrar, mas para já, sinto-me grato pela oportunidade que recebi, e pelos colegas que trabalharam a meu lado. Algumas vezes terei sido menos correcto com eles, ou eles comigo, mas no final do dia fazemos um reset e temos de conseguir funcionar em conjunto com eles novamente.

Encontrei grandiosidade para lá das minhas espectativas em cada um deles. Verifiquei que cada um de nós deu o seu máximo dentro da medida do possível, o que conquistou o meu respeito, apesar de reconhecer que não mostro essa gratidão a todos os instantes. É a minha veia militar a latejar que muitas vezes cria alguns atritos. Já lá vão 10 anos e ainda não consigo ser completamente civil. Mas isso também não é grave. Sou como sou, e aceitar isso é atingir a serenidade necessária para aos poucos fazer os ajustes que forem possíveis.

A vida ainda não me trouxe um ponto de apoio onde aplicar a alavanca e poder mover o meu mundo na direcção certa. Acumulo experiências, salto em frente e vou tentando levar um dia de cada vez. Tentando porque uma caracteristica minha é a de calcular o somatório desses dias de tempos a tempos.

Estou a precisar de férias. Tenho receio de que o Inferno conquistado possa voltar a surgir à minha frente, e eu não tenho a menor intenção de repetir o que já se encontra no Passado. Por isso tive a necessidade de levantar o véu perante a minha chefia e mostrar que cheguei ao meu limite. Não me é possível continuar na frente de batalha e garantir a mesma eficácia que eu já dei noutras situações.

É uma pena que no final desta jornada, a equipa que finalmente está a formar-se se venha a perder. Quando um colega me afirmava constantemente que eramos uma equipa, eu sempre lhe disse que não. Não passávamos de um grupo de pessoas, descoordenadas e sem unidade. Hoje, depois de sermos postos à prova no fogo real, estamos a atingir esse patamar.

As pessoas precisam de conhecer os seus limites e os dos colegas com quem trabalham. Necessitam de ter a possibilidade de berrar, espernear, incomodarem-se uns aos outros. É aí que se descobre quem somos realmente. Quando voltamos atrás e pedimos desculpa pelas explosões que tivemos, pelo nosso mau génio, pela forma como stressamos quem nos rodeou. Afinal, todos queríamos o mesmo, mas por caminhos diferentes.

Na vida nunca chegamos a saber nada com 100% de certeza. Vamos passando pelos anos com pontos de vista mais ou menos esclarecidos sobre o que nos rodeia. É importante que sejamos capazes de rever o que julgamos arrumado. Se quisermos ver a vida a preto e branco as coisas raramente recebem a importância que realmente merecem.

Creio que já é mais que evidente que sinto orgulho nos meus colegas. Longe da perfeição, cada um deles acrescentou alguma coisa de positivo a este esforço colectivo. Pode ser ensombrado, mas não deixa de merecer ser celebrado este resultado. Propusemo-nos ao impossível. Embarcámos numa loucura. Demos o melhor e não conseguimos, mas de tudo isto surgiu um conjunto de bravos que muito farão por si e pelos outros no Futuro. Tenho a certeza que cada um de nós recordará estes tempos duros com saudade daqui a uns anos. E todos saberemos porque corremos até ao fim, mesmo com a certeza de chegar em ultimo lugar.

Perguntas, algumas sem respostas à vista

2006-08-31T08:40:00.000Z

É incrivel a forma como o ser humano pode ser resistente à inteligencia. Trabalhar em equipa deveria ser uma forma de estar, em que a informação fosse partilhada entre os membros, as sugestões e as criticas encaradas de forma natural e aceites sem que as pessoas se sentissem atingidas pessoalmente.

A quantidade de indefinições e contradições existentes são decerto responsáveis por grande parte dos problemas que se encontram na empresa típica. Basta andar nisto uns aninhos e ter os olhos abertos para perceber que este mundo é tudo menos pacífico, que as pessoas são hipocritas, e que lhes são exigidas coisas completamente contraditórias, consoante a situação. E se não formos capazes de ser máquinas com um comutador ON/OFF, não somos bons profissionais.

Mesmo numa empresa liberal e com um modelo de hierarquia horizontal, as coisas só funcionam se as pessoas estabelecerem préviamente um conjunto de regras entre si, que permita aos departamentos funcionarem sem atritos. Como se consegue isso? Boa pergunta.

Vamos ver se consigo fazer-me entender... Quando se possui uma empresa dividida por departamentos, nunca se deve deixar escapar que o departamento A é melhor ou mais importante do que o departamento B. Os elementos de A podem ficar cheios de vaidade, mas os de B sentirão isso como uma facada nas costas. Quanto maior a carga de trabalho, pressão e responsabilidade, maior a sensibilidade das pessoas em relação às criticas que lhes fazem. Não deveriamos ser assim. Não é suposto sermos permeáveis às criticas e aceitarmo-las com naturalidade? Talvez. Mas tal não ocorre porque à medida que vamos sacrificando energias e tempo de lazer/repouso, disponibilidade para amigos e família, a paciencia diminui e a irritabilidade aumenta a um ritmo galopante.

Chamem-lhe stress, pressão, o que quiserem. Certo é que as pessoas não fazem as pausas necessárias para descomprimir de forma a manterem-se saudáveis e em forma psicológica e emocional. O dinheiro é como o oxigénio. Permite-nos viver, mas também nos vai matando já que a oxidação é a pricipal responsável pelo envelhecimento. Trabalhamos para ganhar dinheiro, mas vamos morrendo aos poucos à medida que sacrificamos o nosso bem estar para o obter.

Voltando à vaca fria, temos então uma empresa típica. Ocorrem toda a espécie de problemas sobretudo pela falta de um único método de trabalho comum a todos os elementos. As tais regras definidas de que falei a inicio. Se retirarmos o exemplo do código civil, as regras de funcionamento em sociedade estão em suporte escrito. Porquê? Para que quando tivermos dúvidas as consultemos. Nas empresas sucede a mesma coisa. À muito que se inventaram os manuais da qualidade, em que a empresa regista os seus procedimentos. Documentar é coisa de que ninguém gosta muito hoje em dia. Não sei quando foi que perdemos essa caracteristica, já que durante a época dos descobrimentos essa foi a forma como guardavamos toda a informação que pudesse vir a ser relevante. É assim que hoje em dia sabemos o que foi feito pelos Portugueses, onde chegámos e os horizontes que abrimos ao mundo civilizado da altura. Existem grandes debates ainda hoje sobre quem fez o quê, e é graças a essa documentação, detalhada ao mais ínfimo pormenor, que conseguimos refutar argumentos de outras nações e fazer prova cabal de que fomos nós que estivemos na linha da frente.

Nada pode ser imutável em termos de procedimentos. O que hoje é verdade, amanhã pode ter de ser adaptado ou completamente revisto. Assim se produz a evolução e o crescimento. O reconhecimento dos erros, a aprendizagem, e a correcção. Mas nem todas as empresas reconhecem os erros. Dessas, apenas uma pequena percentagem aprende com eles, já que é mais fácil criar um bode espiatório, atribuir culpas e demitir essa pessoa. Finalmente, é assustador o que resta. As pouquissímas empresas que corrigem os seus métodos.

À uns tempos atrás tive uma formação sobre qualidade e ambiente. Não foi completamente novo para mim, porque aos 30 anos já levo 15 a trabalhar, ou seja, 50% da minha vida. Passei por muitos sítios e vi toda uma panóplia de políticas de funcionamento. Mas na parte ambiental aprendi de facto algumas coisas bastante interessantes. O conceito mais importante que retive foi o de crescimento sustentado. Quer isto dizer que se deve permitir o avanço da dimensão da empresa, ou dos projectos que esta abraça, quando existirem condições reais para tal. O somatório de anos de esforço e dedicação de muita gente pode ser comprometido com uma má jogada estratégica, especialmente se nos deixarmos embebedar com sonhos de grandeza. Fazer brilharetes hoje em dia é manter a empresa em funcionamento. A concorrência é feroz, e está constantemente à espreita. Qualquer deslize pode comprometer o projecto em mãos, e se este estiver para lá das capacidades normais da empresa, a sua viabilidade também pode ficar comprometida.

Mas existe ainda um detalhe que não deve ser descurado. A consciência das razões pelas quais trabalhamos. Mais do que tudo, essa deve ser a viga mestra da filosofia que nos impulsiona, e que nos leva a todos os esforços que desenvolvemos, quando existem coisas muito mais agradáveis para fazer nesta vida. Trabalhamos para viver? Ou vivemos para trabalhar? Queremos ter acesso a alguns dos prazeres desta vida e por isso necessitamos de dinheiro e de um sentimento de realização? Ou pelo contrário, andamos a fugir de alguma coisa e por isso enterramos a cabeça no trabalho, negando a nós próprios o direito a uma vida saudável? Até o podemos fazer, mas o direito a arrastar os outros para a mesma situação já não existe. Há que respeitar a onda de cada um.

O ser humano existe essencialmente para ser feliz. Dito assim a cru até parece um motivo efémero, mas é minha convicção de que é esta a verdade. Uns são felizes com familia e amigos sinceros, outros com sucesso profissional, outros ainda pelo dinheiro que ganham, e ainda há aqueles que são felizes conseguindo enganar o parceiro do lado e sentindo-se um espertalhão.

É por isso que devemos pensar bem o papel das empresas e dos funcionários sejam eles chefias ou subalternos. Somos todos homens e mulheres, com as mesmas necessidades.

Tudo neste mundo tem o seu papel, embora muitas vezes o subvertamos. Mas sem felicidade, viver não é mais do que um martírio. E não ter felicidade num local onde se passa a maioria das horas que estamos acordados, é qualquer coisa muito complicada.

Nos dias que correm as pessoas pensam nos problemas das efectividades como segurança profissional, e sobre como isso está a desaparecer. Não sei até que ponto as efectividades não foram o que terá arruinado a vida de muita gente, que sem ser feliz, aguentava-se e fazia (ainda faz) das tripas coração. Não sou um poeta lírico que encara a vida na perspectiva romantizada do amor e da cabana. Todos temos de fazer sacrificios em nome do que queremos ter e dar às nossas famílias. Mas também é preciso ter a noção dos limites, manter o respeito por nós próprios e não deixar cair a autoestima a ponto em que precisemos de ajuda para sair do buraco. É urgente ser feliz. Nem que tenhamos de pedir felicidade emprestada a juros incertos se não houver outra saída.

Já nos tempos dos descobrimentos navegámos ao encontro do desconhecido, armados de esperança e coragem. 500 anos volvidos, parece que afinal os tempos não mudaram assim tanto. Exploramos terra, oceanos e estamos no inicio da exploração espacial. Investigamos doenças e descobrimos curas. Somos tecnológicamente avançados, mas continuamos tão perdidos nos nossos corações como o homem das cavernas. Ou será que ainda perdemos alguma coisa pelo caminho? Alguma coisa que ele sabia e que nos esquecemos na nossa ansia de chegar mais longe? Não sabemos para onde vamos, nem sabemos se este caminho será frutuoso. Mas talvez tenhamos um longo caminho a refazer em direcção ao Passado. Seriam eles mais felizes do que nós? Ou esta competição sanguinária é um mal inerente ao ser humano e não conseguimos melhor do que isto? Como qualquer pessoa, tenho mais perguntas do que respostas. E nem sei se as respostas que tenho estão certas.

Surpresas..., ou talvez não

2006-08-30T14:18:00.000Z

Épocas especiais exigem medidas especiais. Com o aperto dos prazos entram em campo outros jogadores que trazem outros métodos e exigências. O tempo dirá se a entrada nesta fase é producente ou não. Demasiados hábitos já estão instalados, e sobretudo alterações profundas ao que foi inicialmente previsto. Juntando a isto as documentações actualizadas não existem. Estamos em Portugal, nada disto deve ser surpresa.

Prevejo no entanto que o sentimento entre as massas seja semelhante ao que passa em filmes policiais americanos. Policia da terra onde o Judas perdeu as botas fica lixado quando o FBI ou a policia estatal toma conta do caso.

O problema aqui são os choques de culturas. Uma postura estilo “tá-se bem, mas stress pra xuxu” Vs uma de “sentido, firme”.

Só se identificaram as necessidades quando a noiva já ia no altar, e agora, mais do que nunca, o processo tem de resultar a qualquer custo. Porque não foi feito assim desde o ínicio só se explica com um voto de confiança dado a quem levantou a mão e afirmou que era capaz de fazer e agora não está a ser cumpridor da sua palavra. Como dar a volta ao texto é a maior tarefa no presente. Vão existir pressões para se cumprirem prazos, para que as falhas sejam mínimas ou nenhumas.

Estou a optar por cumprir o meu papel e confiar que os outros façam o mesmo. Numa estrutura bem construida, existe quem trate de coordenar, e quem desenvolva efectivamente os esforços. Alterar esta regra requer equipas muitissimo competentes, em que cada um é capaz de planear, executar e integrar o seu trabalho com os restantes colegas. Qualquer um que falhe leva ao caos, em grande parte porque não tem ninguém a quem prestar contas. Ou seja, ninguém manda.

Considero vital a implementação de uma pirâmide hierarquica em qualquer força de trabalho. Mais ou menos vertical, isso vem de acordo com as capacidades do colectivo, ao nível técnico e emotivo.

É necessário saber distinguir entre o que se passa em contexto de trabalho e fora. Podemos exigir, ou exigirem de nós, mas cá fora tudo isso deve ter passado para segundo plano. Desligar é das coisas mais dificeis que já tive de fazer, e quando me é impossível, tal deve-se a sentir-me injustiçado. Não me podem fazer pior do que ser acusado injustamente, ou não me reconhecerem o esforço desenvolvido. Felizmente não é uma situação frequente.

Veremos o que os próximos episódios trazem, e que mudanças surgem. Porque se não existirem, o melhor é meter a viola no saco e partir em busca de um sitio onde pelo menos aceitem a ideia de organização.

Chegada ao Inferno

2006-08-22T23:02:00.000Z

As trombetas do apocalipse já o faziam prever, o Inferno chegou. É o fim do mundo em cuecas, ou quase. O cisne já vai limpando a voz para cantar, mas como se costuma dizer, até ao lavar dos cestos ainda é vindima.

É sempre triste assistir à derradeira hora de uma empresa, cujos elementos tanto se esforçaram por um projecto que neste momento só um milagre pode salvar.

Os erros a que assiti foram imensos, ou então é apenas porque profissionalmente cresci num ambiente completamente diferente. Habituado a regras e a uma figura de liderança, trabalhar com rédea solta e quase total liberdade é estranho para mim.
Estranho e os resultados estão à vista. Descoordenação, a informação não se centra numa pessoa que depois delegue funções, redundancia de tarefas, enfim... tudo maus exemplos que não recomendo, mas que infelizmente são comuns de se encontrar por aí. Provavelmente encontrarei o mesmo no proximo sitio em que trabalhar.

Para que S. Jorge mate este dragão já começa a ser necessária intervenção divina.

Faz-me lembrar os filmes sobre guerras passadas em que as tropas aguardavam com ansiedade a ordem para atacar. Com a certeza de que muitos não iriam voltar, o mais agonizante era a espera. Fora do contexto militar nunca esperei vir a sentir isto. Mas como a vida é uma caixinha de surpresas, toma lá que já almoçaste.

Também não esperava sentir um dever patriótico em relação a nenhuma tarefa na vida civil, mas mais uma vez a vida dá voltas com as quais não contamos. Estou em risco de voltar para a fila do desemprego, mas adivinho que não deve tardar muito até que alguns milhares se juntem a mim à conta de um projecto que a meu ver, falha por uma única e grave razão: excesso de confiança.

Estrada para o Inferno

2006-07-30T18:16:00.000Z

Todos temos alturas complicadas na vida, em que por vezes nos sentimos sem rumo. Como não sou estranho a essa caracetristica do ser humano, também eu atravesso as minhas, e esta calha a ser uma das tais.

Um dos meus albuns preferidos é o “Highway to Hell” dos ACDC. Gostos aparte, que nestas coisas cada um tem o seu, existem várias razões para que este albúm me agrade e até me faça ouvi-lo ad nauseum.

Hoje é mesmo pelo título. Se à coisa que me parece ter acontecido é ter entrado na autoestrada para o Inferno. Trabalho com fartura, perspectivas de vida pessoal e social inexistente durante os próximos tempos, lutar contra os esqueletos no armário. Acaba por se perder um pouco o Norte. Os amigos vão ajudando, mas quando o Inferno é cá dentro, faça-se o que se fizer, só nós é que podemos resolver o problema. E tipicamente não é só um.

O que fazer quando nos encontramos num caminho que não é dos mais agradáveis, em que os custos de voltar atrás são pesados demais, e até sentimos curiosidade sobre o lado negro do limbo?

Como dizia o Carlos Paião, “tá calado pá, refilar faz mal à visicula”. O Inferno não é menor pelo facto de nos queixarmos, não ficamos com menos bolhas nos pés ao fazer esse caminho, e ainda por cima aborrecemos quem viaja ao nosso lado na mesma estrada. Ora estar na estrada para o Inferno já pode ser mau o suficiente sem termos de andar a medir o que é mais duro, um punho fechado ou um maxilar.

Existe sempre a possibilidade de sorrir à Morte. Levar as coisas na desportiva, não permitir que o espírito desapareça, e até tentar com alguma boa disposição aliviar o sofrimento de quem nos acompanha na mesma viagem. Pensando bem, nunca se sabe quando vamos precisar de alguém que nos faça o mesmo.

Descobrir como se leva as coisas na desportiva pode ser complicado, dependendo do que já passámos, das pressões a que estamos sujeitos, da seriedade com que encaramos as responsabilidades e a nós próprios, entre várias outras coisas mais ou menos chatas. Os antídotos para a realidade da nossa vida podem ser muitos. Há quem recorra à bebida, ao tabaco, drogas, saídas daquelas muito wild para a noite citadina, e pasme-se, até ao sexo. É verdade senhores ouvintes, até o sexo pode ser um escape. Nem que seja com a vizinha do lado. O pior é convencer a esposa de que deslocámos uma vertebra e a bondosa senhora estava apenas a realizar uma massagem com um óleo especial que comprou a um indiano que calhou a passar pela praia de Carcavelos enquanto apanhava um Solzinho.

Tudo isto são complementos. Nada destas coisas funcionam se não conseguirmos encontrar o nosso equilíbrio e sorrir perante a adversidade. Mesmo na estrada para o Inferno, apesar de pensosa por vezes, se não aproveitarmos a viagem, acabamos por perder tempo precioso das nossas vidas e acabar apenas a recordar o que de mau aconteceu. Risco elevado de encher o coração de ódio, mágoa e toda a panóplia de sentimentos negativos. À hora da morte, tudo o que poderemos dizer será “ainda bem que esta merda está a acabar”.

Respostas não as tenho. Perguntas são mais que muitas. Vou afinando os meus pontos de vista à medida que vou metendo a pata na poça. A cada kilometro que passo nesta estrada, a velocidade diminui sob o peso da bagagem que vou adquirindo. Até pode ser que nunca saia desta estrada, mas enquanto puder, nem que seja em espírito, tentarei viver com paixão, montado numa chopper poeirenta, de barbão ao vento e com o cabelo em chamas.

Respeito

2006-05-13T00:47:00.000Z

Onde se traçam os limites das nossas relações com outros é frequentemente algo que se revela dificil de discernir. O direito a ultrapassar esses limites é um que não temos, mas que usamos com mais frequência do que deveríamos.

Com facilidade excessiva, e porque as coisas nem sempre nos correm de feição, explodimos com aqueles que estão do nosso lado, que nos querem bem e que até escutam o que não merecem. Dar valor a isto nem sempre é fácil. Por vezes é preciso que sejamos alvo de uma dessas atitudes para darmos o valor a alguns dos anjos que nos acompanham pela vida e em quem muitas vezes, demasiadas, aguentam os resultados das nossas frustrações.

Como é natural, somos sempre mais sensiveis ao que nos afecta do que à forma como afectamos os outros. A grande questão é, o que fazer quando nos encontramos entre um ego ferido com responsabilidades sobre a nossa auto-estima, e um amigo que representa bastante para nós. Se optamos por uma protecção de quem somos e nos defendemos, satisfazemos o impulso correspondente à nossa sobrevivência emocional; resposta à letra. Se pensamos nas consequências e ponderamos sobre se valerá o risco de terminar uma amizade, o mais certo é engolirmos o sapo e acabamos por deixar passar, ao mesmo tempo que sacrificamos a nossa auto-estima.

Podemos escolher qualquer caminho, mas nunca nos livramos de sofrer com palavras que são ditas no calor do momento. Magoa, fere com uma precisão cirurgica. Uma lingua afiada consegue atingir o coração com mais facilidade do que uma espada. Na sombra ficam a sofrer os nossos anjos, em que só repararemos quando nos faltarem numa daquelas alturas em que recorremos a eles. Vão ficando por perto porque ponderam nas consequências e não querem perder-nos. Por isso continuam a aguentar uma e outra ofensa, fazendo das tripas coração e engolindo sapos. Há que ter cuidado para que um dia esses amigos não deixem de fazer contas à vida e passem a contabilizar a diferença entre o que dão de si e o que recebem de nós.

Provavelmente nessa altura vamos descobrir que já não existe em quem descarregar as nossas frustrações. Mas de onde vêm estas reacções mais ou menos violentas? De onde chegam estas faltas de paciência, de disponibilidade, por vezes de solidariedade? Mesmo que não sejam intencionais, acabam por gerar um afastamento entre as pessoas.

Talvez seja bom procurarmos perguntas às quais responder, antes que os anjos que nos rodeiam resolvam usar as suas asas para voar para longe das agressões a que os sujeitamos a fim de protegerem a sua auto-estima, cansados de engolir sapos e de fingir que o saldo dos relacionamentos é positivo.

Por onde andas?

2006-04-15T01:35:00.000Z

Esta noite sonhei contigo. Vi-te nitidamente, estavas linda, mas mais uma vez não tinhas rosto. Vi-te a cores, foi tão real como qualquer outra coisa, mas não soube quem eras. Continuas a ser um vulto, uma figura que aparenta aproximar-se de mim e quando está quase ao meu alcance, volta a desaparecer. Sabes que preciso de ti, que és a minha metade. Que me dedicarei a ti por completo. Serei tudo o que precisares que seja. Conheces-me melhor do que ninguem.

Se tudo isto é verdade, diz-me então porque te escondes de mim, porque é que só te encontro num sonho ou no fundo de uma qualquer garrafa de vinho.

Cansa-me procurar-te e nunca te encontrar. Cansa-me continuar a ver-te passar na rua na figura de cada mulher, e nunca seres tu. Mas isso nunca fez com que eu desistisse de ti, apesar de me sentir um D. Quixote, louco de amores, agarrado a um sonho que nunca passou disso mesmo, a lutar contra moinhos de vento e em busca da sua Dulcineia.

Sabes, existem alguns raios de luz que me iluminam o rosto quando sorrio pela felicidade de um amigo que te encontrou. Hoje foi um desses dias. Finalmente mostraste-te a um amigo meu, que te buscava à muito tempo também, e fiquei feliz como se fosse eu a encontrar-te. Mas comigo continuas a ser cruel, a brincar com os meus sentimentos e a escapar-te antes que eu possa ver o teu rosto.

Nem se trata de justiça, está para lá dos conceitos lógicos que formam a razão. Trata-se de sentimentos e necessidades, trata-se de nem sei o quê...

Quero que venhas e grites o meu nome. Que me envolvas nos teus problemas e me dês cabo da cabeça com ninharias. Que me escutes quando precise de falar, que adivinhes os meus pensamentos mas que perguntes como se não soubesses para me forçares a ultrapassar as minhas barreiras, que me ames na cama e fora dela. Quero sentir-me envergonhado de não me lembrar da data do aniversário em que nos conhecemos, porque isso não é tão importante como cada dia que passo contigo e que sou mais feliz do que no anterior. Preciso dos teus hábitos irritantes e das tuas manias estranhas.

Espero que saibas que és tu a tal. Que o tango é para dançar a dois e que só tu me serves como parceira. Por isso não fujas nem desvies o olhar quando decidires que é chegada a altura certa, porque nos meus olhos verás tudo aquilo que precisas de saber acerca de mim.

Quando o tempo não tem significado

2006-04-05T00:26:00.000Z

Foi um dia normal da semana, 3ª-feira. Geralmente fico em casa na ronha, a fazer nada. Olho meio desgostoso para a TV que não dá nada de jeito, olho para o msn sem que esteja alguém com quem conversar, e muitas vezes desejo que a noite passe depressa para estar novamente no trabalho com os meus colegas.

Não se pense que sou um viciado no trabalho, chama-se a isto tédio. O que esta 3ª-feira não teve de normal foi a noite. Fui sair (coisa rara ultimamente) com uma amiga com quem partilhei uma conversa feita de retalhos em que falámos de tudo e de nada, cujo conteúdo só pode ser apreciado através de algum distanciamento.

Tive a sorte de ter alguns momentos felizes em que conheci pessoas de destaque na importância que vieram a ter para a minha vida. Cada um deixou um legado, uma lição, um conselho. São amigos que me acompanham, alguns sem que os laços se mantenham, mas que nunca me deixarão nas minhas recordações, e na forma como foram importantes para que eu esteja aqui hoje.

Sempre que as amizades tomaram essas proporções e importância, basearam-se na capacidade de dar sem esperar nada em troca. Abrir as mãos, o coração, oferecer um ombro, partilhar tempo e espaço, por vezes um copo a mais. Seja qual for o pretexto, estamos presentes em qualquer altura, nas boas e nas más. Acompanhamos os momentos de glória e outros mais negros sem nos queixarmos.

O que de importante teve esta noite acabou de ser dito. Foi o estar presente quando alguém precisa de uma mudança ou uma distracção, falar sobre banalidades ou ter um diálogo mais sério. Na verdade não se agenda, faz-se o que apetecer na altura. São mãos e coração abertos, e com eles ver e sentir. O tempo perde significado, não são as horas de sono que ficaram para trás que contam. Importa é estar e ser. O quê não vou dizer. É pessoal, e não apenas para mim. Estar disposto a conhecer alguém e aceitá-lo como é, sem tecer criticas foi uma das lições que algum amigo me passou, e que eu tento transmitir também porque é importante demais para ser fechada a 7 chaves.

Contra tudo o que pretendi fazer neste blog, vou revelar um nome, apenas para que não reste dúvidas à pessoa visada de que é dela que estou a falar. O anonimato continua a ser suficiente.
Obrigado pela noite que me proporcionaste Vanessa. Foi um previlégio vislumbrar um pouco da tua pessoa, a que fica para lá do aspecto físico. Foi uma noite daquelas em que o tempo perdeu o significado, pelo menos para mim.

Dei-me a um prazer que já não é sempre que permito. Andei à volta da casa a conduzir, a inventar caminhos cada vez mais longos para voltar ao sitio onde acabei por estacionar, a porta do prédio onde vivo. Consegui converter uma distância de 2,5 Km em algumas dezenas, e soube muito bem estar a conduzir à chuva a ouvir rádio com as estradas vazias. É o que me acontece quando perco a noção temporal, esqueço-me do relógio e do que tenho para fazer no dia seguinte. Pode custar um bocadinho caro, mas logo se paga.

Hoje não se tratou de escrever sobre nada muito elaborado, sobre as altas esferas do pensamento ou sobre sentimentos formidáveis capazes de dar origem a uma obra de ficção. É um texto muito simples, sem pretenções nenhumas, tal como a pessoa que se encontrou diante de mim e que me permitiu passar um serão muito mais agradável do que as minhas 3ª's feiras normais. Espero perder a noção do tempo mais vezes, sempre que te sentires farta de estar em casa, ou por qualquer outro motivo.

Que me desculpe quem estava à espera de mais, mas hoje a simplicidade é raínha, e as minhas mãos estão abertas para uma pessoa em particular. Invoco o previlégio do autor, o de conduzir a história.

Eclipse

2006-03-29T22:10:00.000Z

Hoje segundo as vozes de quem percebe do assunto, existiu um eclipe total num país para lá do cu de Judas, sendo que em Portugal mal se deu pela coisa a não ser para quem andou de nariz no ar. Eu como tive mais que fazer, nem dei por tal.

Chegado a casa, depois de todas as tretas rotineiras que se fazem no fim de um dia de trabalho, ao escrever isto acabei por me lembrar que existem mais tipos de eclipses.

O tipo de eclipses que surgem quando temos o nosso juízo obscurecido por problemas do dia a dia, por preconceitos, por teimosias, orgulhos e parvoices no geral.

Naturalmente que uns assumem um carácter mais grave do que os outros, já que se uns acarretam consequências de pouca ou nenhuma gravidade, outros podem conduzir a consequências imprevisiveis. Vamos a exemplos.

Não querer comer um determinado prato porque contêm um ingrediente que nunca provámos mas que temos a certeza que não gostamos. Consequência: Não ficar a conhecer uma possível especialidade gastronómica.

Não ir ver o filme que está na berra porque num papel secundário está um actor que aparece 5 segundos, nem diz nada, mas cuja visão do respectivo trombil nos provoca nauseas. Consequência: Possibilidade de perder um clássico numa altura em que o dito filme ainda é fervilhante tema de conversa durante as horas de pausa no trabalho, enquanto os colegas fumam um café e bebem o cigarro.

Não comparecer a um evento na hora de triunfo de um amigo porque vai estar presente alguém que odiamos de morte. Se a reencarnação existisse e voltassemos ao mundo na forma de cão, despejaríamos o conteúdo da bexiga com frequência nas rodas do carro de tal figura, ou se possível na perna. Consequência: Deixamos de estar com alguém que é para nós muito importante, de festejar um momento especial na vida dessa pessoa, coisa que muito facilmente promove um afastamento que depois custa mais a voltar atrás, essencialmente por orgulho.

Não ajudar um amigo na hora que mais precisa porque achamos que temos uma coisa mais importante para fazer. Consequência: Possivel perda de uma amizade. No mínimo a relação regride e com fortes possibilidades de nunca vir a recuperar.

Os exemplos poderiam prosseguir, mas não vejo a necessidade de continuar a fazê-lo. Vistas de fora estas situações podem ter o seu quê de ridículas, mas existem efectivamente, e até chegam a ser comuns. Podemos por vezes sacrificar demasiado por causa de ninharias.

A idade trás destas coisas, a capacidade de engolir sapos, desde que não sejam tão grandes que fiquem com as patas a espernear do lado de fora. É preciso ver, que engolir sapos pressupõe ser capaz de os engolir de facto. Daí que certos sacrifícios fazem-se, outros não.

Temos limites e quando tais limites são ultrapassados, estamos perante situações que cruzaram as fronteiras da dignidade e do respeito. Se de um lado encontramos a estupidez, do outro é a preservação da nossa auto-estima, do respeito por nós próprios. Delinear essa fronteira é muitas vezes complicado, e o traçado costuma até ser subjectivo. Há sempre quem não concorde conosco quando tomamos uma posição de força e batemos o pé, afirmando que é demais e que dalí não passa. O Futuro revela-nos por vezes se estivemos certos ou errados.

Como se diz por aí, não custa viver, custa é saber viver. A vida é portanto feita de escolhas, uma sucessão de trocas. Essas escolhas são muitas vezes eclipsadas por vários factores, e quer tenhamos consciência da sua existência como tal ou não, certo é que somos humanos, frágeis e falíveis. Erramos mais vezes do que gostaríamos. Torna-se necessário saber perdoar.

É sempre mais fácil avaliar uma situação quando estamos fora dela. Quando um amigo desabafa conosco, é-nos mais fácil de encontrar uma solução do que se o problema for nosso e estivermos imersos nele. Da mesma forma temos mais facilidade em perdoar os erros dos outros do que os nossos, e é precisamente um dos maiores erros que cometemos.

Não nos livramos da responsabilidade das nossas escolhas. Eclipsados ou não, temos de as fazer com frequência no decorrer das nossas vidas. Decidir em que instantes estamos a ser injustos ou apenas a proteger o nosso espaço, dignidade e auto-estima. Os eclipses ocorrem, uns evidentes, e outros (perdoem-me a redundância), eclipsados. Mas mesmo no escuro, nunca estaremos completamente errados se as nossas escolhas tiverem por base o amor e o respeito, por nós e pelos outros. Porque na escuridão dos olhos, brilha uma luz frágil mas importante.

Tocar corações

2006-03-06T21:52:00.000Z

Consegui finalmente ver um filme que a Optimus teve a amabilidade de me enviar pelo Natal passado. Embora tenha já passado a quadra natalícia, o Natal é quando o homem quer, não é?

É um filme típico sobre o Natal, um S. Nicolau que perde a memória e coloca assim o Natal em perigo. Passam-se muitas coisas, o filme não tem de maneira alguma uma história complicada nem muito elaborada. É atrozmente previsivel, mas quem quer saber disso quando se trata de tocar corações?

É mais uma daquelas histórias em que a certa altura ficamos com um nózinho na garganta quando identificamos situações semelhantes às nossas experiências, desejos, ansiedades e outras coisas que nos fazem dançar aquela lágrimazinha no canto do olho. Resta referir que isso acontece porque estava alguém a limpar o pó ao meu lado e entrou-me qualquer coisa na vista.

Nunca tive horas para nada. A minha mãe sempre se passou comigo por comer às horas mais impróprias, tomar banho mesmo antes do almoço ou do jantar, vestir a roupa para sair à noite depois de passar um dia inteiro de pijama, entre variadissimas outras manias minhas. Uma delas é nunca oferecer presentes nas alturas em que se convencionou que se devem oferecer. Detesto esse tipo de "obrigações" sociais, e como tal, recuso-me a segui-las. Prefiro oferecer quando posso e quando me apetece. Uma rosa, um beijo, um agradecimento, ou uma prenda feita por mim ou comprada. Mas quando eu quero oferecer. E porque me lembrei dessa pessoa, não porque o calendário diz que é dia de desembolsar umas massas porque fulana ou beltrano fazem anos.

Se pensam que dar uma prenda é para mim um acto simples, desenganem-se. É um gesto muito especial. Para mim, oferecer uma prenda implica conhecer bem uma pessoa, saber os seus gostos e desejos, o que lhe faz falta. É um acto de alguma intimidade que representa a existência de laços de alguma importância. Como tal, dou em doido cada vez que vou ofertar alguma coisa. A não ser que veja alguma coisa que me faz lembrar aquela pessoa, entro na loja e compro-a.

Seja como for, é sempre especial. E se não for, não há prenda para ninguém. Porque acima de tudo, devem existir sentimentos ligados ao objecto, que não é mais do que um veículo para as nossas memórias. Momentos bonitos e agradáveis das nossas vidas, instantes que nos fazem sentir mais tarde um calorzinho bom no peito. No fundo, o objecto não tem um valor real. O que conta são os sentimentos que ele nos faz relembrar. Olhamos para um objecto qualquer e recordamos um amigo. É por isso que alguns objectos são insubstituiveis. Porque aliados a eles encontram-se memórias de momentos que foram muito importantes para nós.

Um exemplo pode ser um presente de um filho. Por mais tosco que pareça o que a criança fez, nada que pudesse ser comprado numa loja teria tanto valor como aquilo que mãos pequenas fizeram, a pensar em alguém que amam, e que quando oferecem, trazem consigo um brilho nos olhos que nada supera.

Quando se tocam corações, deixa-se uma marca que não pode ser apagada. Creio que é isso que o tão falado espírito natalício pretende transmitir. Que se toquem os corações de quem nos rodeia com gestos, atitudes, amizade e amor. E é por isso que o Natal é quando nós quisermos. Porque todos os dias são bons para ajudarmos um amigo com problemas, para beijarmos quem amamos, preparar um jantar para aliviar quem chega a casa de cabeça quente e sem condições para mais do que ir para a cama, para colocar um filho no colo e conversar com ele, para colocar um sorriso no rosto de quem deixou de acreditar na felicidade. Não há loja que venda isto. Tocar corações não é transaccionável. Acontece quando estamos disponíveis para os amigos. Quando damos de nós sem esperar um retorno, e ficamos felizes por alguém a quem demos a mão e que saiu do buraco. A isto não se devia chamar magia de Natal. Devia acontecer todo o ano. E hoje é um dia tão bom como outro qualquer para practicar isso.

"Há lágrimas na natureza das coisas e a certeza do efémero toca-nos o coração" - Vergílio

Pontos de fuga

2006-02-08T22:25:00.000Z

Quando as coisas se complicam o melhor que temos a fazer é optar pela simplicidade e dar uma saltada aos espaços abertos onde por mais que conheçamos há sempre alguma coisa que nos surpreende.

Um passeio ao Portinho da Arrábida para esticar as pernas e aproveitar uns raios de Sol é sempre bom.

Os ares da serra abrem o apetite, a beleza selvagem rodeia-nos, e abranda-se quer se queira quer não. Estar numa das mais lindas baías do mundo com uma serra linda ao lado, a brisa que me traz a maresia misturado com os cheiros do mato fazem deste sitio um local muito especial. Estimula os sentidos de uma forma muito calma e ajuda a reequilibrar qualquer coisa por dentro para a qual eu não tenho um nome. No entanto gosto da sensação.

De cada vez que vejo esta paisagem ao virar da curva na estrada, por mais que passe por lá, fico sempre assombrado pela beleza que o caracteriza e que me faz sentir num paraíso tropical. Não há foto capaz de transmitir a sensação, por isso só posso recomendar um passeio de fim de semana com alguém especial por companhia para verificar em primeira mão aquilo que digo.

Ao observar um quadro, e sabendo o que são os rudimentos de desenho, podemos sempre encontrar aquilo que são os pontos de fuga, elementos essenciais para qualquer perspectiva bem conseguida. Mas os pontos de fuga não são apenas parte da técnica de desenho. Cada local especial que temos e para onde vamos quando precisamos de equilibrio são também pontos de fuga.

Não são soluções de alienação, são como fontes da juventude onde vamos retemperar as forças e beber energias para regressar à batalha que o dia a dia nos impõe. Sozinho ou com alguém especial, estes locais juntam sempre aquele toque... é como a cereja no topo do bolo, ouro sobre azul.

De tempos a tempos todos nós regressamos aos nossos locais especiais. Não sei quando vou voltar a um dos meus, só sei que será na altura certa. Nunca se deve abusar daquilo que gostamos, acaba por se transformar em banal aquilo que era especial. E eu não quero banalizar nada nem ninguém. Locais e pessoas especiais são para serem "consumidos" em doses moderadas, dando o espaço suficiente para que não se atinja o ponto de saturação ou se sufoque quem está lá quando precisamos... os amigos.

O fim de um Sábado perfeito

2006-01-29T15:02:00.000Z

Para quem gosta de passear por sítios bonitos, nada melhor do que uma companhia agradável. Foi o que aconteceu neste Sábado, em que apesar de o bom senso ditar uma permanência na cama, acabei a visitar alguns dos meus locais preferidos.

O melhor de tudo é quando levamos conosco uns olhos para quem esses locais são novidade. Olhos que pela primeira vez experimentam a sensação de ver alguns dos locais mais bonitos deste planeta, e que me trazem à sensação que tive quando os vi também pela primeira vez.

Passeio pela praia deserta pelo frio do Inverno, quando tudo parece ser nosso, o cheiro a maresia, o ar salgado e a areia fria... Não existe nada que se lhe compare. Assim foi Sesimbra pela manhã.

Uma descida à gruta junto ao Portinho da Arrábida libertou novas sensações de serenidade e espanto pela beleza natural e ainda semi-selvagem. Toda a paisagem envolvente faz esquecer a correria da cidade, as pressas que nos complicam, e as responsabilidades que nos obrigam a estar em permanente estado de alerta. A baía do Portinho foi também ela tudo isso e mais ainda. O Sol amenizou o vento frio que ocasionalmente se fazia sentir.

Almoço e de seguida para Palmela onde o Castelo foi o ultimo destino do nosso passeio. Do alto da torre, a vista coroou um dia relaxante.

Durante todo este passeio foi uma delícia poder ver os olhos brilhantes da minha amiga enquanto lhe dei a conhecer um pouco deste Portugal.

De volta a casa sã e salva, cumpri por fim a minha promessa de proporcionar um dia descontraído a quem estava a precisar bastante de o ter. Espero vir a ter mais chances de mostrar sitios destes a esta amiga tão especial. Deitei-me com um sentimento de conforto e bem estar. Também a mim o passeio fez muito bem.

Obrigado pela companhia, minha querida amiga.

Como bónus adicional, hoje, enquanto escrevo isto, a Natureza mostra mais uma das suas faces. Em contraste com o Sol de ontem, chega hoje um pequeno nevão inesperado e bastante invulgar por estas paragens.

No Portinho, uma homenagem ao poeta e professor Sebastião da Gama continha um dos seus versos que terminava assim: "... O segredo é amar." Uma bonita frase que dá que pensar.

Alea jacta est

2006-01-14T11:37:00.000Z

Tenho andado a negligenciar o meu espacinho na net. Esta fase até foi bastante complicada, final do ano, balanço do que passou, decisões a tomar para o futuro, o costume.

A coisa está estranha, e lá vou eu novamente enfrentar um dos meus receios. Esta coisa é um bocado vampiresca... receio-a mas ao mesmo tempo desejo-a com tanta intensidade que não consigo abandonar a ideia.

A chegar aos meus 30 anos (cruzes, já??), é tempo de deixar de lado os receios que me travaram no passado e reconhecer que existem hoje condições que nunca antes tinham sido reunidas. Paz, serenidade, um espaço meu, e liberdade em relação a críticas destrutivas.

Como infelizmente hoje em dia já nenhuma formação é garantia de emprego na área que gostamos, tenho de manter presente que ainda que conclua o curso que pretendo com bom aproveitamento, tal pode não passar da concretização de uma meta pessoal. O culminar de um esforço para levar a cabo um sonho que me tem perseguido à tantos anos.

A certeza de que tenho capacidade para conseguir vencer os desafios tornou-se fonte de uma frustração ao perceber que não teria as condições minimas para poder entrar na luta.

Estou frente a uma série de sub-tarefas que terei de realizar até chegar à prova de fogo: o exame nacional de matemática, pesadelo materializado de tantas alminhas por esse mundo.

Mas falta-me conseguir orientação para tal. Sei onde a vou encontrar, mas porque não me dirigi lá ainda? Estarei a protelar um compromisso que deverei assumir se quiser seguir nos meus propósitos?

Existe uma pequena questão a resolver ainda no inicio desta semana. Nada de impeditivo, mas que tem a sua importância. E esquecer que é preciso coragem. O que é preciso é fazer, lançar de cabeça e... alea jacta est... a sorte está lançada!

Vergeef Sunshine

2005-10-21T14:43:00.000Z

Atitudes precipitadas todos nós tomamos numa ou noutra altura nas nossas vidas. Por vezes não somos muito justos quando pressionados pela vida ou por quem nos rodeia.

Creio que é preciso ter a presença de espírito para nos colocarmos em causa, avaliar as nossas acções e pedir perdão sempre que escorreguemos.

Por isso Sunshine, peço-te humildemente que me desculpes pela minha precipitação e impaciência.

Sou humano, estas são algumas das minhas limitações. Este post é muito privado no sentido que carrega, eu sei. Mas faço-o por aqui como poderia fazer em frente a qualquer outra pessoa.

Tens uma grande importância para mim, a tua amizade ultrapassa o conceito de valor.

Na impossibilidade de te entregar uma flor pessoalmente, deixo-te esta que é entregue pelas mãos mais bonitas que conheço, as de uma criança. Com a flor vai uma mensagem de esperança de um futuro que tu tens trabalhado para moldar à tua medida.

Parabéns pelo exemplo que dás. Tens-me mostrado na práctica que a coragem é enfrentar as dificuldades, levar pancada e ainda assim não desistir. Obrigado por tudo.

Adeus Valentim

2005-10-11T18:42:00.000Z

Pequenos momentos de “normalidade” são das coisas que nem damos conta, mas que acabam por compor um todo que chamamos de felicidade.

É fácil desprezar a importância de estarmos com os amigos num bar, um passeio à beira-rio, um dia de trabalho sem chatices, até mesmo acordar de noite para mudar a fralda de um bebé e embalá-lo novamente até adormecer.

Não é apenas fácil desprezar a importância como também é fácil fazer outra coisa ainda: reclamar.

A saturação que certas tarefas nos impõem conduz por vezes a atitudes e palavras irreflectidas que só são sentidas no calor de uma discussão. Infelizmente o tempo é um mestre cruel, e não permite voltar atrás após uma acção da qual não nos orgulhamos.
Está feito e pronto, arca-se com as consequências.

Uma coisa posso garantir, são destas pequenas coisas que nos irritam e maçam que vamos sentir falta quando um dia desaparecerem. Mais ainda se forem características de um amigo, colega de trabalho ou até familiar. Aquelas atitudes parvas que dizemos não ter paciência para aturar, mas que vamos aturando sempre, alguém que é distraído a ponto de se esquecer dos seus próprios interesses e que com isso nos leva ao limite da paciência, aquela gargalhada estridente que chama a atenção de toda a gente num lugar publico… e no entanto, no dia em que os responsáveis por essas atitudes desaparecem, fica um vazio que dá lugar ao que não queremos admitir, mas que se chama de saudade. É a falta daquela pessoa que se foi, o lugar vago que dantes era sempre preenchido por alguém, um silêncio onde dantes havia uma conversa ou discussão.

Depois de termos a consciência de que não se pode voltar atrás, e de que a perda é definitiva, vem um turbilhão de emoções de tal forma intenso que as lágrimas surgem como resposta fisiológica. Após o choque inicial a vida continua dentro da normalidade possível.

Lições a tirar de episódios destes existem, tal como de qualquer situação a partir da qual queiramos aprender. Uma que posso apontar, é que não devemos esperar que a felicidade seja um único acontecimento que aparece como que por artes mágicas e deixa toda a gente com um sorriso de orelha a orelha. Podem existir casos assim, mas para a maioria das pessoas, senão a totalidade, a felicidade é um conjunto de pequenas situações que nos ajudam a vencer cada dia. E não são apenas as que nos dão prazer. Mesmo o que classificamos de negativo acaba por ser parte da nossa felicidade na forma de experiência de vida.

Há que aproveitar muito mais o que vivemos, levar a vida com mais calma e paciência, dar menos importância ao que nos parece grave, até porque na maioria das vezes não é.

Não são as situações da vida que são graves, os olhos de quem as vê é que as tornam assim.

Estou ainda a despedir-me do meu avô que perdi no passado dia 25. Este texto está grandemente ligado a esse sentimento que vai e vem conforme olho para os objectos que lhe pertenceram. As memórias assaltam-me e entre lágrimas e sorrisos lá vou recordando aquele que foi um homem com H. Limitado em muitos aspectos, mais teimoso que uma mula e maldizente como só ele, ainda assim foi um trabalhador incansável que sem dar luxos à família, nunca deixou no entanto que ninguém debaixo do seu tecto passasse necessidades.

Valentim de seu nome, deu o seu ultimo suspiro quando a minha avó lhe desfazia a barba, morrendo nos braços da mulher que toda a vida foi sua companheira e que cuidou dele até ao ultimo minuto, por vezes sabe-se lá a que custo. Era terrível de aturar.
60 anos em comum, não se assiste já com facilidade.
18 anos de mina nas pirites alentejanas, uma fuga para a cidade em busca de vida melhor, 15 anos numa secção de pintura numa fábrica de automóveis, e sempre tendo a sua horta da qual cuidava até que já nem a Lua desse para ver o que fazia.
Muitos dias em que se esquecia de comer, tal era o vicio de amanhar a terra, de ver as plantas germinarem e no fim colher os frutos. Nunca se tratou muito bem, e os esforços a que se sujeitou cobraram uma pesada factura nos últimos anos.

Assim partiu um homem que me deu terreno fértil onde estabelecer as minhas bases. Foi por causa dele em parte que não cheguei até hoje a saber o que é ter fome. Por duas vezes abriu as portas da sua casa para que eu pudesse ter um tecto.

É com imensa gratidão e saudade que vos falo aqui de Valentim Ferreira Rodeia, alentejano e meu avô.

Barreiras

2005-10-09T20:21:00.000Z

Por mais que se queira que o caminho seja linear, tal não acontece. Existem sempre obstáculos na vida.

Quando nos surge um pela frente podemos superá-lo com facilidade se já estivermos habituados a ele. Quando o tipo de obstáculo é diferente do que esperaríamos encontrar, aí é que surgem as complicações.

Quebra-se o ritmo normal das nossas vidas, há que parar e analisar bem o que temos à nossa frente porque se uns obstáculos são para serem atravessados, outros devem ser transpostos e ainda existem os que devem ser evitados.

Por vezes permitem-nos ver o que está do outro lado. As nossas fantasias crescem em campo fértil. É quase como uma criança que se encontra a olhar para uma montra da loja de doces. Porque raios deveria estar aquele vidro alí? É que não dá mesmo jeito nenhum.

A criatividade, a abtsracção e a capacidade de relacionar experiências passadas permitem ultrapassar muitos dos obstáculos que nos surgem pela frente, mas e quando não estamos bem e é dificil lidar com a informação que nos chega? A criança da loja de doces ficou estúpida de repente e cede apenas aos seus instintos. Voltamo-nos para a satisfação das necessidades mais básicas sem ponderar consequências nem equacionar as necessidades de quem nos rodeia.

Esta é a barreira mais complicada, a que se encontra dentro de nós. Somos nós que a edificamos e jogamos fora os planos da sua construção. É bem provável que o medo se instale depois de a frustração ter surgido. Pior ainda, a auto-confiança esfuma-se a cada vez que tentamos vencer o obstáculo e não conseguimos.

Claro que é complicado vencer barreiras se não estivermos convictos de que é mesmo a sério e que somos capazes. Mas quando aquela garra não está lá, acaba por ser como a bola de neve a descer a encosta. Quanto mais desce, mais acelera e maior se torna. Assim é o medo do fracasso.
Que fazer então?

Voltar atrás, ao terreno firme das nossas convicções. A formação que recebemos ou que nos demos a nós mesmos, a pedra basilar que é o nosso carácter são os pilares que nos sustentam em alturas de crise. Mas é preciso voltar atrás, sem qualquer dúvida. Isso requer tempo, e tempo é uma coisa que um adulto muitas vezes não tem. Falta esse espaço para poder voltar a ser criança.

As crianças estão mais libertas de preconceitos do que os adultos, não complicam tanto as coisas. Se por um lado lhes falta a experiência para resolver assuntos mais complexos com muitas variáveis, por outro são mestres na resolução de situações mais simples. O seu pensamento mais linear, liberto de pressões, permite-lhes ver o mundo com uma palete de cores básicas. Não é tão rico de elementos nem de detalhes, mas em situações destas, essa riqueza só atrapalha porque nos dispersa a atenção do que é na realidade importante.

É sempre bom termos crianças por perto. São elas que muitas vezes acabam por nos mostrar aquilo que já nos esquecemos. Que certas barreiras não existem na realidade, são apenas a projecção dos nossos medos. Elas chama-lhe bicho papão, e nós adultos pagamos a um psicólogo para nos ensinar nomes mais complexos.

Aprender a voar

2005-10-06T15:19:00.000Z

Qualquer aprendizagem pressupõe os seus problemas. Todos sabemos que a vida é uma aprendizagem constante, e no entanto por vezes tendemos a esquecer essa evidência.

Cada vez que iniciamos uma nova actividade ou período na vida, temos de dar os primeiros passos. É complicado, vamos dar uns tombos até descobrirmos como manter o equilíbrio. E apesar de após algum tempo já conseguirmos fazer boa figura, tal não significa que os tombos não tornem a acontecer.

Mais complicado do que aprender a andar é aprender a voar. O chão é duro e o choque com a realidade é proporcional com a altura a que nos elevámos. Isto porque como a natureza não nos dotou de asas ou outra qualquer caracteristica que nos permita elevar nos céus, o nosso vôo será aqui uma metáfora para o sonho, tal como na história de Ícaro.

Sonhar e obter sucesso depende de uma exultante loucura acompanhada de uma sorte incrível, ou de um esforço metódico em que a preparação e o crescimento sustentado formam os alicerces de tudo o que se irá construir.

A diferença entre Ícaro e Dédalo encontra-se essencialmente na manutenção do sonho concretizado. Dédalo, mais racional, experimenta o vôo e ao observar o que o rodeia, mede os perigos e mantêm-se longe do Sol, onde o calor poderia derreter a cêra que unia as penas com as quais construiram as suas asas. Ícaro, com a irreverencia e tolice próprias da juventude, deixa-se atrair pelo brilho do Sol e voa cada vez mais perto até que o inevitável acontece.

Existe nesta história um 3º personagem de quem nunca se ouve falar. O Homem que ficou no chão. Esse nunca chegou a saber o que é estar acima dos montes, elevar-se na perseguição do sonho, simplesmente porque nunca ousou a tal.

Complicado para mim não é a possibilidade da queda, é não chegar a experimentar o vôo. Assim que abandonamos o chão não há como voltar atrás sem ser com algumas nódoas negras, ou mais concretamente, um sentimento de frustração por não ter tentado ir até ao fim. É dar aos braçinhos e voar.

Quer nos mantenhamos no ar a uma altitude segura, ou voemos para lá dos limites de segurança e nos estatelemos no chão, no final, teremos pelo menos uma história em que os protagonistas fomos nós, e não alguém que conhecemos.

Qualquer animal excepto o Homem sabe que a vida só tem um propósito... aproveitar ao máximo. Está na hora de aprender umas coisinhas.

Termino este com uma frase de Randall G Leighton (não sei quem é, não façam perguntas difíceis).

"Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt and dance like no one is watching."

Destinos

2005-10-05T14:34:00.000Z

Existe sempre para onde ir, apesar de muitas vezes nos sentirmos perdidos.

As nossas vidas são recheadas de objectivos, uns mais racionais do que outros. Uma carreira profissional, um hobby, lazer, viagens.

Existem também aqueles que nos fazem passar por cima da racionalidade, e que de tão importantes acabam por nos fazer colocar em segundo plano o que já tinha anteriormente sido definido.

Frequentemente trata-se de uma paixão, ou um amor tão profundos que cada pensamento vai para aquela pessoa sempre que as tarefas do dia-a-dia não nos exigem total concentração.

Chega-se a parar o que se está a fazer, em sobressalto só porque o telemóvel anunciou uma mensagem. Faz-nos levantar a meio da noite para escrever só porque não é possível estar na sua presença, é tarde demais para telefonar, mas não se conseguem calar as palavras que pulam dentro do coração, ansiosas por sair; e que a boca teimosamente retêm nas alturas mais cruciais.

Atravessar-se-iam oceanos se a resposta fosse certa, mas o receio de sofrer novamente acaba por afogar as palavras e acções. As incertezas são o que de pior existe quando se ama alguém.

Por vezes tenta-se de forma algo timida uma aproximação, que acaba por não ser entendida como tal, ou rejeitada de forma delicada. A diferença é tão pequena que acaba por não se notar e a incerteza mantem-se.

Existe apenas uma foma de escapar ao ciclo vicioso. Soltar amarras, atravessar o oceano do medo, enfrentar o Cabo das Tormentas, e descobrir que afinal, as tormentas eram apenas fruto da imaginação.

O brilho do Sol nos olhos de quem está apaixonado merece qualquer esforço para ver concretizado o seu desejo de felicidade, e não será o receio de uma resposta negativa que deverá impedir quem quer que seja de se entregar.

As melhores coisas na vida conseguem-se sem rede de segurança. O risco é grande, mas a recompensa é proporcional. E quando se reconhece um destino à nossa frente, há que segui-lo até ao fim.

Na letra de uma musica que conheço na voz de Johnny Hartman: "... ahhh, for the want of a kiss..."; e quando um beijo justifica arriscar tudo, estamos decerto na presença de um destino que merece ser seguido, e de um sentimento muito especial que deve ser vivido na totalidade, entre a serenidade e a loucura.

Apreciar a beleza

2005-10-04T19:45:00.000Z

De cada vez que se liga a TV só mudam os desgraçados, as desgraças continuam a ser sempre as mesmas. É algo que me cansa e que tristemente acaba por tornar as pessoas algo insensiveis ao sofrimento alheio. Torna-se comum, banal.

A receita dos meios de comunicação social é simples: sangue e tripas à vista, escândalos e futebol é igual mais audiências. Notícias de choque, apresentadas da forma mais espetacular possível, sem olhar ao facto de que existem crianças a assistir nos horários nobres.

A minha resposta à saturação que tudo isto me causa é nem ligar TV ou rádio. Mas ainda me lembro de quando era criança. Tempos em que se podiam assistir a programas educativos e que contribuiam para uma formação equilibrada das crianças, em que a violência não era o ónus das histórias.

Programas como a abelha maia, os marretas, a rocha dos fragles, séries cómicas assentes em situações do dia a dia, que além de confrontarem os espectadores com dilemas morais, nos faziam pensar em problemas que facilmente podiam bater-nos à porta.

Nessa altura podia estar-se mais descansado com o que as crianças assistiam. Hoje qualquer pai conscencioso terá receio das programações que passam nos canais disponiveis. Confesso uma certa nostalgia pelos tempos idos.

Na impossibilidade de voltar atrás no tempo, existe sempre uma coisa que podemos fazer quando o cansaço atinge o ponto de saturação. Parar e apreciar o que de belo existe ao redor. Frequentemente a natureza presenteia-nos com visões espantosas, às quais nem sempre damos a atenção devida. Sair das nossas rotinas citadinas nem que seja ao fim de semana pode proporcionar essas paragens.

Amanhã é feriado. Para quem possa, um passeio pelo campo a apreciar a transformação do Verão em Outono é a sugestão que deixo. Para quem tenha filhos, forcem um pouco os afazeres que se deixam para estas alturas e aproveitem para levarem os miudos a verem que existe mais no mundo do que apenas o DragonBall, e que surpresa das surpresas, até nem está muito longe de casa. Explorem os espaços verdes, respirem ar livre de poluentes, sentem-se debaixo de uma árvore e tentem identificar qual é a ave que produz os sons que se ouvem.

Sentado em casa é fácil de ver apenas a parte feia do mundo. É urgente ver alguma coisa de bom e de puro.

Start me up

2005-10-03T17:25:00.000Z

Ora cá estamos. Sunshine, começa aqui finalmente uma pequena aventura. Tanta vez que te prometi o começo e finalmente cumpro.

Um dos receios era o de ficar viciado nisto e dedicar mais tempo do que aquele que realmente devo. Mas se não fizermos as coisas que queremos devido a receios, quando é que deixamos de sobreviver?

Terei tempo de escrever aquilo que o título do blog sugere, pensamentos que ficam a martelar na cabeça.

Esperemos que consiga atingir qualidade suficiente para agradar a quem lê a ponto de querer comentar e assim contribuir para gerar mais pensamentos martelantes para a carola.