References

I've been feeling a bit lost lately. Today, as I took a shit (the thinking throne is always the place to have the best insights), I thought about navigation, and how ships get from harbor to harbor. They do course corrections, and they don't go in a straight line most the times. It's cheaper and faster to take advantage of the main currents.

The loneliness I'm experiencing is self imposed, since I have plenty of people around me that are trying to help me out. And it's loneliness because I've been trying to carry my wife's world and mine on my back. This can't be anymore. I'm trowing my happiness out the window. Fortunately, my wife had the good sense to close the damn thing.

Good thinking, being practical and utter respect for logic, not forgetting my manners and not hardening my heart, that's the way to go.

Sometimes people get scared. I'm no different. I don't want to get back that road I traveled in the past when I eventually hurt people in my life. In this growingly mad world, ethics will be the thing that will save us as individuals and society. I'm having some people helping me in these conclusions.

So all and all, what is that I need? For starters, to get my priorities straight. Where am I, what is my current status. After that, be clear about where I want to go. Now I have points A and B. Time to figure out how to get there and what I need to do that. When I achieve this, I'll have done 10% of the work. The rest is sweat. Nothing makes a genius more than continuity. Hard work and lots of patience always pays off. I guess I can do a lot of hard work, but I seem to have a deficit on patience. Where do I buy a couple of cans of that?

It would be nice to get back to Earth, the mother of us all. I seem to need to charge my batteries. Feel the wind on my hair, the rain on my face and the Sun on my back. Maybe my references are in my wilderness, even if it's only a walk in the park. Maybe it's in the sea, even if it's only a stream that wets my feet.

I once told my wife that she is 90% of the happiness I can have in my life. There might be 100%'s out there, but it took me 30 long years to find the person that eases my pain with a smile, so who gives a shit about the rest 10%? I'm not risking what I have.

Right now I seem to be focusing on the problems instead of on finding solutions. Time goes by, and the problems only get bigger. I need to find my compass fast, and smile more often. You now what? I worry too much. And I know this, only I've been conditioned to be this way, and it's not easy to shake this monkey off my back. Continuity seems to be the answer to everything. Keep trying. And another thing... The KISS method (keep it simple, stupid).

The Old Spirit

I've come to the acquaintance of someone that's extraordinary. We have talked over an hour or so, and in that time, this gentleman has shown me that he deserves to be called extraordinary. Why? It seems little time to have such a certainty over someone. It was enough, though, to realize that he has that old spirit most of us have as children, and that so few keep as they grow up. A willing to learn, eyes that shine has new stuff is brought to his knowledge, and the humanity to share it.

This guy, a man in his 50's with a respectable belly, is a teacher that struggles to keep his students motivated and provide them with experiences that will constitute tools in their lives, professional and private. Although he has little experience in some areas, he steals time from his family and friends to find out how stuff works, and bring it to his students. This man has a heart that moved me, and that put a shine in my eyes for having found another soul that shares the same interests I do.

Lack of support from the school board, unmotivated students and constantly being mistreated by the education ministry has made many teachers throw the towel and lower their arms. I sensed a different fiber in this man. And for that, he seems to be one of the heroes that wander around unnoticed by most, and that do make a difference.

I have had teachers like that, some have made a lasting impression in me, and a few of those have become good friends. And those have added something to my life, important things. Things that were more than academic knowledge, things that are part of the man I am today.

They say that the difference between a child and a man is the cost of their toys. The Chinese wish their friends that they live in interesting times. Well, in all of mankind's history, there probably were no more interesting times than the ones we live now. We are only bored if we chose to be. Our lives are so surrounded by knowledge, the access to it has probably never been so easy, that what limits us is basically lack of interest due to lack of imagination.

I can't deny my will to help this man achieve his goals. I would have no reward other than my own satisfaction in achieving new knowledge and helping someone getting ahead. I think I will probably dig in my old projects and find out if some of them are interesting and simple enough for the students. Hopefully, we can make something of it, and just maybe... someone else gets a shine in their eyes. After all, Xmas is the time to expect small miracles. Could it be that I can manage to give a present to a man that devotes his live to sharing knowledge? Once I thought that a smile was my reward for offering someone a gift. Now I see that I was a bit off. What you really give is a reason to smile, and the smile is the gift you present others.

Never mind if you are loaded with money, or your wallet is dry as a bone. Happiness is something that bypasses material possessions, if you are not materialistic yourself.

My GF likes to offer presents and she lives Xmas as a time of joy. I myself, am more discrete. What really gives me pleasure is to sit by the fire, playing chess over a nice conversation and a glass of red wine. To gather the people we love under one roof and enjoy each other. It's not about the presents or the food. It's about family and love. And first of all, I need to feel that. After, the rest might be welcome, but the essential has to come first.

Have a happy Xmas everybody, and keep fanning the flames of that old spirit.

Doing the right thing

Sometimes you are held to a stop by little things that happen in your life. Something that makes you think. You count your blessings and sometimes you get scared by the possibility of losing them.
The wonderful people that light your world, the comfort level you have achieved, the laughter time and space that you share with your loved ones.

If you consider the possibility of a life ending, and how it will affect all around that person, they will suffer with the loss as much as that person filled their lives. The hole is always as big as what you pull out.

Knowing that the people you love will suffer when you fade away someday, you might think that if you are as neutral as possible, they wont miss you as much. Not true. People will still remember you, if not for the good things, for the bad then.
They will still miss how much of a pain in the ass you used to be, how grouchy you could be, the stupid remarks you made and the bad calls you took. No matter what, we all make impacts in others lives.

As far as I can tell, the best choice is to let it all go natural. Being fun and being there for others, knowing how to laugh at yourself, experiencing and sharing together, sitting down and talking things over, having a special someone that you can pour your heart out to.

All this came from a movie I caught in the middle, not seeing the tittle. It's a great family movie, with an old man faced with it's eminent death due to cancer. That halts the whole family and causes an introspection over everyone's lives, the choices they all made, and leads to a general redemption. Having been a family that always dealt with problems by making jokes, they finally sit down and talk. So this man's announced final hour manages more that what they all expected. He changes his behavior, and starts fooling around, just having fun, and dragging his family with him. And probably the most important phrase in the movie is said by this old man on the verge of death: “It's not a sin to die... and neither is living”.

So we shouldn't be afraid to live, although in some cases it happens. We shouldn't be afraid of dieing, although sometimes it happens too. Guess what, being afraid is not a sin either. What might be considered a sin is that you don't give yourself to others, don't share joy's and worries, don't do for others what would be nice if someone did for you. In short, be a friend.

Everyone important to you should start out as being a friend. And they should never go beyond that status. Parents, uncles, girlfriend, wife... all that really matters is if they are your friends. From that, you can build a part of your happiness.

In closure, the right thing is not hiding from the world so that in case it all goes wrong, people wont get hurt. The right thing is to be a part of the big party of life, laughing your ass off, sharing and being forgiving.

A final word: don't be afraid of being ridiculous sometimes. We all are from time to time, and knowing how to deal with that helps you not taking yourself too seriously, which leads to good humor. Otherwise, you will never be as happy as you could have been, and your legacy will be somewhat... grouchy.

Cornered

Something happens when you are cornered into some messy situation. Now, I'm talking about the kind of situation where you have nothing to lose. I've seen it happen often to other people, and I was in the same kind of situation just over 2 years ago.

At the time, I didn't even had a home to live in. I wasn´t living on the street due to family help. With a mother and a sister I felt where my responsability to take care of, the strugle within was enormous. I felt like I had to carve a way through the jungle with one hand and pull them with the other, trying to keep us together. To make things worse, I was trapped in a course that was nearly over, after 2 years of studying. I would lose my diploma if I quited, and I was in desperate need for money.

I was lucky enough to have people that helped me out. It's Xmas and I'm thinking of people that don't have such luck. What if I was one of those people back then?

I struggled as far as I could, made all kind of efforts, and now I have a little more to show for. The kind of obligations I commited myself to, keep me working to maintain and get ahead. But taking two steps back in my memories, I remember another time when I couldn't accept failure, simply because it wasn't an option. I had commited to the most important person in my life, and I had to honour her sacrifice. And I did what seemed impossible to me at the time. I set my own pace, burned up my eye lashes studying as hard as I could. I made it happen. And it made me feel special. I knew then that I was able to do things. More importantly, I had proven myself capable.

I was just watching Oprah, and some stories came up about people that had lost everything. I'm not talking about a bank account. It's actually loosing everything, and still be found in a huge debt. What do you do when you find yourself in that kind of situation, a woman with 2 kids to take care of? This was the most moving case presented. Wanna know what happens? Everything changes perspective. You sacrifice every little thing that most of us take for granted. Being with your kids becomes a luxury that you sometimes can't have. You love them so much that you sacrifice energies and time with them to provide for them. Like my mother did when I needed help. Like I did for her when she needed some solid ground. When we suceed, we suceed together. Until then, we are cornered together and fighting for a way out. Even when you feel cornered, love for life or for someone else will get you through. All we need is to keep believing, and at the end of each day, count our blessings so we never forget how lucky we actually are.

Fear of the Dark

Inside each of us there is a fear of some kind of dark. It seems no one stops needing some sort of night light. You may take this to the letter, but you can also extrapolate and find what lurks inside your personal darkness.

At times, it might be yourself. What happens when we are the scariest thing under the bed?

Well, we all have characteristics that we don't like, or bad times in which we can't be at our best. We can then show that inner beast, even if it's only to ourselves. It slowly comes out of the shadows and devours us without asking.

In spite of every scare we might catch with that beast, it generally disappears when the light comes, or better yet, transforms itself.

Remember the Japanese shadows theater? The image projected can be of many different forms, but in reality, it's still two hands articulating fingers. What I mean by this is, even that beast is still made from us, only altered by the way we articulate ourselves. The casted shadow can sometimes be really scary, to us and to others.

Life can sometimes brake or bend us. What happens is that if we aren't standing tall and proud, our shadow will be transformed into something else, and those who look only to the shadow won't recognize us. Those that look at us directly will never cease to see us for who we are, no matter how battered we've been. The natural reaction for any animal is to fight back when attacked. A cute dog with puppy eyes can also show some sharp teeth.

I haven't seen eternal night so far, so, no matter how scary my shadow might be, I'm confident that daylight will come eventually and change my shadow back to normal.

The night feels long and cold, but midnight has passed already. I'm not out of the woods yet, but I'm getting there.

Skidmarks

It’s been a while since I’ve been drawn to the conclusion that things rarely go wrong because people don’t know what they are doing. Most often, bad management exists because someone is making some sort of profit with it.

It might be an economical gain, but it can also be the bloating of the ego, or simply the maintenance of a job. In this specific case I’m referring to, it’s a mix of these three reasons. I have someone in charge that doesn’t know squat about the process, and is not interested in finding out how things are done, or what difficulties people go thru to keep the company afloat. Basically, all that matters is that people look busy, even if you are only grinding coffee (coffee is far from being our business).

Also, that person presents the worst ability I’ve ever seen in dealing with people, much less with subordinates. So, eventually, the person in charge found out that being this kind of boss as let her out of the team. People scatter whenever she is spotted in the vicinities, avoid talking to her, and lie as much as possible to keep from getting into futile discussions over the most stupid reasons.

Both the “qualities” mentioned above have led to a state of confusion, which originates stress. Time for the shouting to begin. Emotional derange takes over, and the day is ruined for at least two persons (no one sane fights alone), even if it happens at 09.00 am, the start of the work journey.

As a consequence, we achieve poor results. People long for the end of the day so they can escape from the claws of this place and it’s appointed executioner. Injustices are frequent, no matter how good you are, or whatever effort you make for the company, you are still worth less than in day one.

Quality, of course, fails. Any new procedure or tool destined to bring any light into the process is doomed to failure as well. As long as confusion reigns, there is an illusion of control and power. No one else can understand how things work because there is at least one person injecting as much noise as possible, and latter filtering the information the way she finds that serves her best interests.

It’s not a surprise that good elements either throw the towel and surrender to keep their jobs, or leave at some point. We now have a nice selection of crap, with some stubborn elements that refuse to give in, or give up. And this is how lucky this boss is, these stubborn few keep things going with some logic. We might say they are the ABS and traction control that compensate for this crazy driver’s bad skills and lunacy.

We could all have a smooth ride, but looking back all we see are skidmarks, and the tires are getting worn out.

After passing by some companies that had dialoging bosses instead of screaming berserkers, it’s a low point in my professional path. My kingdom for a good company, with rational and emotionally intelligent people. I’m sick and tired of stupidity. And I’m getting tired of being sick and tired.

Somebody needs me

This is a feeling that I’ve waited for so long, and now that it’s here, it seems strangely new, although it shouldn’t.

I have today somebody that needs me, and I’m quite happy do be able to do for her what she says is more than enough. That’s what she says, anyway. Inside, I don’t believe that this is all that I can do for her. I want to see this woman exhilarate, have a happier smile everyday, and cuddle with me every time we have the chance.

I worry about every little thing about her, over her projects, over her happiness. I’m committed to this woman as I have never been with any other before. And no matter how many times I tell her, she doesn’t seem to believe that she makes me happy. I’m brought to my knees by the shear tender of her heart, her beautiful smile and her soft touch.

The way she kisses me shows me how much she cares, makes me feel loved. And right now, she needs my help and understanding, my support and every bit of a man I can be.

If I have to, I’ll reinvent myself for her. Not because she asks me to, because I feel the need to be by her side anyway I can. Her heart guides mine. I believe in her. This is my woman.

I could call sacrifice to that reinvention, but in truth it isn’t. It’s what gets commanded by something inside. I’m here for you honey. And I will be with you for as long as you’ll have me. Just keep smiling at me.

I’ll get there

Funny how even a short week seems painful. This Friday is a holyday and in spite of having to come and face this job for four days only this week, it still feels crappy.

But I’m enduring this trial. And I will make it somehow. I will manage to get out of this place, and rub it in the face of those that treat me below dirt professional wise.

Revenge is served on a cold platter, right? So this one might be worth the wait.

It’s a bitch when you know for a fact that you perform a good job, let no one down, and still get treated as if you where an irresponsible child. I’ve had it, no more mister nice guy.

As long as I’m here, I’ll keep doing my job with the same kind of dedication as before. I just won’t sacrifice even an ounce of what I did earlier. It will be ready when I say it is, and not a moment sooner. Any trouble will be thoroughly documented. Every equipment shall be dealt with utmost care. And the time taken will be proportional.

The dragon can fly both high and low, and even though it fly’s through the night right now, eventually the Sun will come up and it’s scales will shine with the morning rays.

It carries a heart inside, that is filled with love for an amazing woman that makes it believe that any effort is worthy.

The day will come when it will burn the house down with it’s fire breath. ‘Till that day, it’s time to take a little nap in the dragon’s lair.

Another one of those days

Some times you come to the end of the week and it just feels like it was another one of days. It was shitty as hell, not much work to do and still I felt like doing nothing. It’s partly due to the expectation of finding another job and getting out of a place that means nothing to me, gives me no chance to evolve, and waiting for September to come, when the job market opens again. Plus, I need to make more money, so this is a not a whim. I have all the reasons in the world to start in a new place.

Decompressing today is not an easy thing to accomplish. I’m faced with the fundamental problem of any economist. To meet unlimited needs with limited resources. How I can manage this is a bit of a puzzle.

Anyway, I also need to get back to robotics and automation, so a job in that field would be heaven. This is not easy, because the market is not what I expected to be, and companies aren’t too keen in paying decent wages.

So I decided to do the best thing I could think of. Sit back and enjoy a beer with a mild cigar while I wrote this and let my mind ease up.

I’m facing the street in front of my home, gazing at Friday’s traffic and the people walking by, each minding their own business, and I find myself thinking on how many of them have worst problems than mine. Although I think of this country as having a chaotic way of functioning, things always seem to work out some how. Any foreigner of a first world country would go insane trying to understand how we manage to get by, but when it’s a cultural base to act like this, everyone knows what buttons to push and strings to pull.

I often think of getting out of here and make a living in some other place, but today there is a doubt in my mind. Can I make my most deep roots in Portugal? Fact is, this is a great place to live if you have enough money. Just about any rule can be bent and you can make your reality happen through the weight of the mighty Euro. With money anything is possible, and that’s not true here alone. That can happen anywhere. So the question is… can I make enough money here? And how the fuck can I do that? I have good qualifications, my skills need only a place to be tested. Where do I do that?

I try to make myself acquainted to the companies that matter the most, but still lady luck has thrown only bones at me. Where’s the beef? And no, I’m not sitting on my ass trying to get a break. I really try to get ahead.

To tell you the truth, this isn’t a day to get conclusions. This might just be a day to relax.

Wantings

Ain’t life a bitch? What do you do when you want something that is near you but you just can’t grab it?

To dream is every fool’s right, and they usually use it. Frequently I feel like a proud member of that group of nutcases.

Oscillating between feelings of ecstasy and frustration, life is moving on. It seems that a river always knows where to flow, so I might as well forget about worries. Yeah right, and who can do that for a fact?

The problem with old dreams, is that you have allowed to believe them so many times, it gets easier to get back to them, and more painful to set them aside every time it happens.

What do you do when your heart is home for a tiger that yearns to leap ahead and grab it’s prey? A hunter’s instincts can be eased some times, but not forever. Something inside seeks to rebel.

Freedom is seldom the same for everybody. What might seem like a prison to many, proves to be paradise to others. Some seek it in places they visit, some in possessions, and others inside themselves. Lack of diversity however, leads to a momentary satisfaction that ends in a sense of emptiness. No matter how much you like something, everyone gets bored of the same old same old.

So right now, what is it that I need? It’s always a simple question with a complex answer. It’s clear that I want to fly close to the stratosphere, as high as thin air will allow me. I know damn well that not everyone can breathe up there, and it takes a lot of effort to maintain flight in such altitudes. Reason might tell me that it’s safer and easier to lay low and keep it going in the middle of the flock. The heart thou… it lives elsewhere.

I think that my most pure dreams will live on with me for years, and I will come to them over and over again, until one day I can make them happen, or die trying. Some other goals will be accomplished meanwhile, but it seems that they will always be clouded by what I really want for myself.

I don’t seek to have beamers, a beach house in some island in the pacific, travel to the four corners of the world and all the other things that most people want if they ever get rich. I am dedicated to improve the life conditions of my fellow man. My brand in this world shall be to do for others what they can’t do for themselves.

Everything else does not fall second, but I feel that if this doesn’t happen, then nothing else will taste as good, life will be dull flavored.

Have a Heart

Has Aerosmith say in their song, “…it’s amazing…”

When you struggle to get ahead, and make your team win the prize, there are always those who slack and just pretend to be pushing the band wagon.

I’m witnessing a curious phenomenon. People that want to keep earning money, but don’t strive to do better, work as individuals instead of performing team work, and still bitch about any change or complaint directed to them.

People really don’t like having their cheese moved. And why is that? It’s easier to function that way. You store every aspect of that part of your life into mental drawers and cease thinking. Things become mechanical, and even if your work is done in an inefficient way, you don’t give a crap, as long as you can save your brain cells and babble about the current soap opera, the neighbor that is cheating her husband, the price tag of the milk carton, or the latest show you attended.

In fact, my conclusion is that these people don’t actually act unprofessionally due to evilness, but rather due to having too many problems in their minds. Work becomes the refuge for the family problems, their life’s realities. I can relate to that better than you might think.

Still, we are getting paid to do a job, as good as we can, and if you can’t think of better ways of doing it, then why stall those that are trying to improve work conditions and achieve better overall quality? Why resist changing for the better?

In the mist of confusion, people get a certain sense of protection and control. They feel that they can control a part of the process, and I believe that for that reason, they resist giving up that fantasy. Many show that they need to feel they have some power in their hands, and those are the ones that bitch the most.

What really happens is that a company must satisfy their costumers. Otherwise, they will move on, and we will be left with nothing but bills to pay. And salaries tend to be the last priority. Meeting the costumers expectations is not enough anymore. We need to be creative, get involved with the client’s process and even suggest some improvements. Some of them might not even be of the client’s knowledge. So by helping it improve, we gain it’s trust, and more work will follow, if possible. If the client for some reason doesn’t stick with us, if it got a good impression of our work, it will be an ambassador for our quality. How is that bad?

Doing the right thing means that we must apply our efforts for improvement in the field we can make a difference… our own job. No one knows it better than the person who does it, so no one can talk about it with more authority. It’s not up to the team leader, he or she can’t see everything (but can still see enough to kick your ass). It’s up to each and every one of us to think as a whole, and not as an individual. To make whatever possible effort to boost the team’s performance. The team wins, we all win. The total of the teams win, the company wins.

People think too fast about compensations for their work. They should always do 110% before thinking of any kind of material reward. Do it for themselves first.

The thing is, if you prove yourself and your boss doesn’t recognize it, he will have lost a valuable member of the team. Why? Because others will be interested in you, and probably will be paying more for your services. Creating a reputation of a competent employee is also good. If you get sacked due to bankruptcy or staff reduction, you will get a job easily.

So think of your career. Think of your competence. Think of getting better everyday and making more money for you and your family. Evolution means making more in less time. Make yourself so perfect and necessary to any employer that if you need to earn more, he or she will think twice before letting you go to the competition.

Plus, your primary demands should always be working conditions. Face it, they are less prone to giving you a raise to keep you, than to buy better tools, improving the ergonomics of the work stations or safety conditions. Especially if it’s a certified company, with certain standards to meet.

Avoid asking for a day off. Instead, ask for better work conditions. Training if you need it. Be the first to share knowledge with your team, help them out. Expect nothing in return except for an increase in competence and teamwork. Your reward… knowledge and experience. With that, you can further negotiate your income.

If by any chance you feel dissatisfied at your current job, seek for a better one, but keep excelling at what you are doing. Never show lack of professionalism. You are still getting paid, and you still have your word to honor, remember that. The greatest slap you can throw at anyone’s face is to be flawless as much as possible.

I still fail to see the logic in resilient people’s minds. Not wanting to improve, not wanting to work in a competitive company, not wanting to leave a legacy. All they excel at is bitching. I hope they change their minds and embrace the reality they stubbornly insist in not seeing. Because getting sacked at 50 is not a pleasant scenario.

Now, how is this not amazing? It can all be explained by the general theory of human stupidity. It’s not the brightest or the most competent that survive. It’s those who adapt to the incoming changes the best. This is truly survival of the fittest.

What if I don’t make it?

Follow your heart and soon you might find yourself in a leap of faith. I know I have, and fortunately I’m not alone in this. Shit happens when you doubt if you will make it while in mid air.

Who can say that this has never happened to them? Not doubting at all is not blind faith, it’s stupidity. Not even the most fanatical believer can escape that moment when something inside makes you wonder about that “…what if…?” thing. If you get your faith back or not, it makes little difference, you can’t go back and make it all like it was before you made your move.

And maybe you just can’t make it on your own anyway. But sometimes, just sometimes… you catch a tail wind and that makes the difference between falling into the abyss or landing on the other edge.

The reason why we risk it like this is probably the same that makes us eat fat saturated food with lots of salt, get drunk, parachute out of a perfectly functional airplane or smoke a cigar. Because it tastes good, it gives you pleasure. And as long as you don’t get addicted to adrenaline, it should be ok.

Anyway, it’s nice to know that if you land flat on your face, you have someone to help you lick your wounds. So thanks for being there with, and for me. It’s like you say, it feels natural and comfortable, it’s a bitter sweet sensation that binds us. And not just now, many times in the future to come, you will be the one that I will look for to help me believe again. You are the best partner I could ask for. Crazy enough to stick with me, sound enough to call me to reason, brave enough to face me when I’m wrong, sensitive enough to know when to stop. My 90%, as a friend once said, you are my right kind of wrong.

It will take a lot of effort to reach our goals. I think we both can make it. Forgive me for sometimes doubting, and thanks for being my tail wind. There are still a lot of things that scare me. I seem to be different from most people, I tend to fear the easy and embrace the hard passionately. It’s like some projects are too easy to be worth taking the time for them. Great doings are made out of small things, so those projects are necessary too. And you are the right person to help me to change in that way.

Tell you something, the thing I want the most is to work with you. Put our skills together and see what comes out of it. At some point, I don’t want to have a tail wind anymore. I will want to know what it feels like to be jumping with you.

Being supportive

Finding someone can sometimes be a bit difficult. Once you do, it’s almost like a cat that catches it’s first mouse. The desire was there, but now that you caught it, what do you do with it?

For starters, do what you where doing before, when you where trying to catch the mouse. If something inside told you to act like that, move in a certain way, and that mouse felt like the best thing in the world, then it probably is.

I found that a lot of couples change after a little while. People usually complaint about how things got dull, or that the spouse has changed and the “magic” has gone. That can always happen, and more likely if you pretend to be someone you’re not, to conquer your better half. No one can fake forever, and eventually you get tired of it and show your true self. On the contrary, honesty always pays.

Do you know what you can give anyone that surpasses any gift? Support. People’s dreams are the most important things to them. Forget about the motives; never mind what they do to get there. They aren’t any less important because of that.

So, if you feel it’s right, give them a helping hand in achieving their dreams. Think about it, dreams where what brought the world to this point, and will keep taking us forward. Sure we have screwed up some times, but the willpower, the effort and sacrifice taken to get into the shit hole are our best weapons to get out of it.

None of us are perfect, and still we demand that from others while finding excuses for our little flaws. Generally we are all jackasses when our own private world gets ticked. There is always an excuse to why our vices can exist and sustain our way of life, and still we demand cleanness and purity from everyone around us. Could that be so that we can forget about our own faults? Demand purity so that we can forget about our impurity and hopefully it rubs in?

Failing is a natural part of the learning process. It shouldn’t be encouraged, but it must be accepted as a normal thing. However, each of us deals with failure in a different way.

Time has proven to be the best teacher in my life. Age too. I’ve learned to deal better with pressure and to make good use of stress. My best interest right now is to live life as quietly as possible, with some adrenaline peaks now and then to feel the blood rushing thru my veins. Respect for others came when I learned that I deserved my own respect too. No matter how many strolls you take towards others, it’s when I come home, to myself, that the experience gathered proves worthy and life gets richer and more worth living.

One of my toughest battles was how to make use of my abilities. I’m no wiz, but I’m aware of my potential, and I always have been. Not being able to put that to good use was one of my biggest frustrations. It’s like living in a maze. You know where you want to go, but have no clue on how to get there. Feeling time flying by me and accomplishing nothing was stressful enough, not counting on all other problems that the average human being has. That’s when I learned the importance of having someone that is supportive and that helps you start and to overcome some obstacles.

Cooling down and realizing that everything has it’s own time and place to happen was almost like a revelation. It might seem so stupid and evident, and still, to cross that bridge it took me almost 30 years. Better late than never, I guess.

At this point I’m involved in what seems to be a possible beginning to my professional dream. Stress is a part of my profession, and dealing with it is getting easier, although sometimes I forget momentarily some of life’s lessons.

I’m too active to stop, and sometimes to slow down, so my breaks are taken in helping others in a way I needed others to help me before. I chose to be supportive.

Orgasms are found in many forms, not only in sex. That’s why I claimed that fulfilling your dreams is the most important thing in your life. Weather it’s a profession, a private project, a hobby, leisure time, having kids… whatever suits you best. And meeting those goals can be as good as a sexual orgasm. In fact, frustration over those dreams can prevent you even from having satisfying sex.

I told a friend one of this days that my life is filled with ugly ducklings. As I write this post I realize that this is a half truth. You see, some of them have changed into beautiful swans before my eyes, with the help of their friends.

Don’t be afraid to give. Forget about giving back, just give. Take the first step expecting nothing in return. Help people around you to fulfill their dreams. As they become happy about themselves, you become happy too. Isolation is a path that leads to loneliness and eventually you will reach your limits. Even a genie is limited by it’s life time. So why fulfill only one dream if you obviously have some many more? Accept your friends help, get ahead of your limitations and be more than you can be by yourself. Can you guess this feelings name?