Another one of those days

Some times you come to the end of the week and it just feels like it was another one of days. It was shitty as hell, not much work to do and still I felt like doing nothing. It’s partly due to the expectation of finding another job and getting out of a place that means nothing to me, gives me no chance to evolve, and waiting for September to come, when the job market opens again. Plus, I need to make more money, so this is a not a whim. I have all the reasons in the world to start in a new place.

Decompressing today is not an easy thing to accomplish. I’m faced with the fundamental problem of any economist. To meet unlimited needs with limited resources. How I can manage this is a bit of a puzzle.

Anyway, I also need to get back to robotics and automation, so a job in that field would be heaven. This is not easy, because the market is not what I expected to be, and companies aren’t too keen in paying decent wages.

So I decided to do the best thing I could think of. Sit back and enjoy a beer with a mild cigar while I wrote this and let my mind ease up.

I’m facing the street in front of my home, gazing at Friday’s traffic and the people walking by, each minding their own business, and I find myself thinking on how many of them have worst problems than mine. Although I think of this country as having a chaotic way of functioning, things always seem to work out some how. Any foreigner of a first world country would go insane trying to understand how we manage to get by, but when it’s a cultural base to act like this, everyone knows what buttons to push and strings to pull.

I often think of getting out of here and make a living in some other place, but today there is a doubt in my mind. Can I make my most deep roots in Portugal? Fact is, this is a great place to live if you have enough money. Just about any rule can be bent and you can make your reality happen through the weight of the mighty Euro. With money anything is possible, and that’s not true here alone. That can happen anywhere. So the question is… can I make enough money here? And how the fuck can I do that? I have good qualifications, my skills need only a place to be tested. Where do I do that?

I try to make myself acquainted to the companies that matter the most, but still lady luck has thrown only bones at me. Where’s the beef? And no, I’m not sitting on my ass trying to get a break. I really try to get ahead.

To tell you the truth, this isn’t a day to get conclusions. This might just be a day to relax.

Wantings

Ain’t life a bitch? What do you do when you want something that is near you but you just can’t grab it?

To dream is every fool’s right, and they usually use it. Frequently I feel like a proud member of that group of nutcases.

Oscillating between feelings of ecstasy and frustration, life is moving on. It seems that a river always knows where to flow, so I might as well forget about worries. Yeah right, and who can do that for a fact?

The problem with old dreams, is that you have allowed to believe them so many times, it gets easier to get back to them, and more painful to set them aside every time it happens.

What do you do when your heart is home for a tiger that yearns to leap ahead and grab it’s prey? A hunter’s instincts can be eased some times, but not forever. Something inside seeks to rebel.

Freedom is seldom the same for everybody. What might seem like a prison to many, proves to be paradise to others. Some seek it in places they visit, some in possessions, and others inside themselves. Lack of diversity however, leads to a momentary satisfaction that ends in a sense of emptiness. No matter how much you like something, everyone gets bored of the same old same old.

So right now, what is it that I need? It’s always a simple question with a complex answer. It’s clear that I want to fly close to the stratosphere, as high as thin air will allow me. I know damn well that not everyone can breathe up there, and it takes a lot of effort to maintain flight in such altitudes. Reason might tell me that it’s safer and easier to lay low and keep it going in the middle of the flock. The heart thou… it lives elsewhere.

I think that my most pure dreams will live on with me for years, and I will come to them over and over again, until one day I can make them happen, or die trying. Some other goals will be accomplished meanwhile, but it seems that they will always be clouded by what I really want for myself.

I don’t seek to have beamers, a beach house in some island in the pacific, travel to the four corners of the world and all the other things that most people want if they ever get rich. I am dedicated to improve the life conditions of my fellow man. My brand in this world shall be to do for others what they can’t do for themselves.

Everything else does not fall second, but I feel that if this doesn’t happen, then nothing else will taste as good, life will be dull flavored.

Have a Heart

Has Aerosmith say in their song, “…it’s amazing…”

When you struggle to get ahead, and make your team win the prize, there are always those who slack and just pretend to be pushing the band wagon.

I’m witnessing a curious phenomenon. People that want to keep earning money, but don’t strive to do better, work as individuals instead of performing team work, and still bitch about any change or complaint directed to them.

People really don’t like having their cheese moved. And why is that? It’s easier to function that way. You store every aspect of that part of your life into mental drawers and cease thinking. Things become mechanical, and even if your work is done in an inefficient way, you don’t give a crap, as long as you can save your brain cells and babble about the current soap opera, the neighbor that is cheating her husband, the price tag of the milk carton, or the latest show you attended.

In fact, my conclusion is that these people don’t actually act unprofessionally due to evilness, but rather due to having too many problems in their minds. Work becomes the refuge for the family problems, their life’s realities. I can relate to that better than you might think.

Still, we are getting paid to do a job, as good as we can, and if you can’t think of better ways of doing it, then why stall those that are trying to improve work conditions and achieve better overall quality? Why resist changing for the better?

In the mist of confusion, people get a certain sense of protection and control. They feel that they can control a part of the process, and I believe that for that reason, they resist giving up that fantasy. Many show that they need to feel they have some power in their hands, and those are the ones that bitch the most.

What really happens is that a company must satisfy their costumers. Otherwise, they will move on, and we will be left with nothing but bills to pay. And salaries tend to be the last priority. Meeting the costumers expectations is not enough anymore. We need to be creative, get involved with the client’s process and even suggest some improvements. Some of them might not even be of the client’s knowledge. So by helping it improve, we gain it’s trust, and more work will follow, if possible. If the client for some reason doesn’t stick with us, if it got a good impression of our work, it will be an ambassador for our quality. How is that bad?

Doing the right thing means that we must apply our efforts for improvement in the field we can make a difference… our own job. No one knows it better than the person who does it, so no one can talk about it with more authority. It’s not up to the team leader, he or she can’t see everything (but can still see enough to kick your ass). It’s up to each and every one of us to think as a whole, and not as an individual. To make whatever possible effort to boost the team’s performance. The team wins, we all win. The total of the teams win, the company wins.

People think too fast about compensations for their work. They should always do 110% before thinking of any kind of material reward. Do it for themselves first.

The thing is, if you prove yourself and your boss doesn’t recognize it, he will have lost a valuable member of the team. Why? Because others will be interested in you, and probably will be paying more for your services. Creating a reputation of a competent employee is also good. If you get sacked due to bankruptcy or staff reduction, you will get a job easily.

So think of your career. Think of your competence. Think of getting better everyday and making more money for you and your family. Evolution means making more in less time. Make yourself so perfect and necessary to any employer that if you need to earn more, he or she will think twice before letting you go to the competition.

Plus, your primary demands should always be working conditions. Face it, they are less prone to giving you a raise to keep you, than to buy better tools, improving the ergonomics of the work stations or safety conditions. Especially if it’s a certified company, with certain standards to meet.

Avoid asking for a day off. Instead, ask for better work conditions. Training if you need it. Be the first to share knowledge with your team, help them out. Expect nothing in return except for an increase in competence and teamwork. Your reward… knowledge and experience. With that, you can further negotiate your income.

If by any chance you feel dissatisfied at your current job, seek for a better one, but keep excelling at what you are doing. Never show lack of professionalism. You are still getting paid, and you still have your word to honor, remember that. The greatest slap you can throw at anyone’s face is to be flawless as much as possible.

I still fail to see the logic in resilient people’s minds. Not wanting to improve, not wanting to work in a competitive company, not wanting to leave a legacy. All they excel at is bitching. I hope they change their minds and embrace the reality they stubbornly insist in not seeing. Because getting sacked at 50 is not a pleasant scenario.

Now, how is this not amazing? It can all be explained by the general theory of human stupidity. It’s not the brightest or the most competent that survive. It’s those who adapt to the incoming changes the best. This is truly survival of the fittest.

What if I don’t make it?

Follow your heart and soon you might find yourself in a leap of faith. I know I have, and fortunately I’m not alone in this. Shit happens when you doubt if you will make it while in mid air.

Who can say that this has never happened to them? Not doubting at all is not blind faith, it’s stupidity. Not even the most fanatical believer can escape that moment when something inside makes you wonder about that “…what if…?” thing. If you get your faith back or not, it makes little difference, you can’t go back and make it all like it was before you made your move.

And maybe you just can’t make it on your own anyway. But sometimes, just sometimes… you catch a tail wind and that makes the difference between falling into the abyss or landing on the other edge.

The reason why we risk it like this is probably the same that makes us eat fat saturated food with lots of salt, get drunk, parachute out of a perfectly functional airplane or smoke a cigar. Because it tastes good, it gives you pleasure. And as long as you don’t get addicted to adrenaline, it should be ok.

Anyway, it’s nice to know that if you land flat on your face, you have someone to help you lick your wounds. So thanks for being there with, and for me. It’s like you say, it feels natural and comfortable, it’s a bitter sweet sensation that binds us. And not just now, many times in the future to come, you will be the one that I will look for to help me believe again. You are the best partner I could ask for. Crazy enough to stick with me, sound enough to call me to reason, brave enough to face me when I’m wrong, sensitive enough to know when to stop. My 90%, as a friend once said, you are my right kind of wrong.

It will take a lot of effort to reach our goals. I think we both can make it. Forgive me for sometimes doubting, and thanks for being my tail wind. There are still a lot of things that scare me. I seem to be different from most people, I tend to fear the easy and embrace the hard passionately. It’s like some projects are too easy to be worth taking the time for them. Great doings are made out of small things, so those projects are necessary too. And you are the right person to help me to change in that way.

Tell you something, the thing I want the most is to work with you. Put our skills together and see what comes out of it. At some point, I don’t want to have a tail wind anymore. I will want to know what it feels like to be jumping with you.

Being supportive

Finding someone can sometimes be a bit difficult. Once you do, it’s almost like a cat that catches it’s first mouse. The desire was there, but now that you caught it, what do you do with it?

For starters, do what you where doing before, when you where trying to catch the mouse. If something inside told you to act like that, move in a certain way, and that mouse felt like the best thing in the world, then it probably is.

I found that a lot of couples change after a little while. People usually complaint about how things got dull, or that the spouse has changed and the “magic” has gone. That can always happen, and more likely if you pretend to be someone you’re not, to conquer your better half. No one can fake forever, and eventually you get tired of it and show your true self. On the contrary, honesty always pays.

Do you know what you can give anyone that surpasses any gift? Support. People’s dreams are the most important things to them. Forget about the motives; never mind what they do to get there. They aren’t any less important because of that.

So, if you feel it’s right, give them a helping hand in achieving their dreams. Think about it, dreams where what brought the world to this point, and will keep taking us forward. Sure we have screwed up some times, but the willpower, the effort and sacrifice taken to get into the shit hole are our best weapons to get out of it.

None of us are perfect, and still we demand that from others while finding excuses for our little flaws. Generally we are all jackasses when our own private world gets ticked. There is always an excuse to why our vices can exist and sustain our way of life, and still we demand cleanness and purity from everyone around us. Could that be so that we can forget about our own faults? Demand purity so that we can forget about our impurity and hopefully it rubs in?

Failing is a natural part of the learning process. It shouldn’t be encouraged, but it must be accepted as a normal thing. However, each of us deals with failure in a different way.

Time has proven to be the best teacher in my life. Age too. I’ve learned to deal better with pressure and to make good use of stress. My best interest right now is to live life as quietly as possible, with some adrenaline peaks now and then to feel the blood rushing thru my veins. Respect for others came when I learned that I deserved my own respect too. No matter how many strolls you take towards others, it’s when I come home, to myself, that the experience gathered proves worthy and life gets richer and more worth living.

One of my toughest battles was how to make use of my abilities. I’m no wiz, but I’m aware of my potential, and I always have been. Not being able to put that to good use was one of my biggest frustrations. It’s like living in a maze. You know where you want to go, but have no clue on how to get there. Feeling time flying by me and accomplishing nothing was stressful enough, not counting on all other problems that the average human being has. That’s when I learned the importance of having someone that is supportive and that helps you start and to overcome some obstacles.

Cooling down and realizing that everything has it’s own time and place to happen was almost like a revelation. It might seem so stupid and evident, and still, to cross that bridge it took me almost 30 years. Better late than never, I guess.

At this point I’m involved in what seems to be a possible beginning to my professional dream. Stress is a part of my profession, and dealing with it is getting easier, although sometimes I forget momentarily some of life’s lessons.

I’m too active to stop, and sometimes to slow down, so my breaks are taken in helping others in a way I needed others to help me before. I chose to be supportive.

Orgasms are found in many forms, not only in sex. That’s why I claimed that fulfilling your dreams is the most important thing in your life. Weather it’s a profession, a private project, a hobby, leisure time, having kids… whatever suits you best. And meeting those goals can be as good as a sexual orgasm. In fact, frustration over those dreams can prevent you even from having satisfying sex.

I told a friend one of this days that my life is filled with ugly ducklings. As I write this post I realize that this is a half truth. You see, some of them have changed into beautiful swans before my eyes, with the help of their friends.

Don’t be afraid to give. Forget about giving back, just give. Take the first step expecting nothing in return. Help people around you to fulfill their dreams. As they become happy about themselves, you become happy too. Isolation is a path that leads to loneliness and eventually you will reach your limits. Even a genie is limited by it’s life time. So why fulfill only one dream if you obviously have some many more? Accept your friends help, get ahead of your limitations and be more than you can be by yourself. Can you guess this feelings name?