I've been feeling a bit lost lately. Today, as I took a shit (the thinking throne is always the place to have the best insights), I thought about navigation, and how ships get from harbor to harbor. They do course corrections, and they don't go in a straight line most the times. It's cheaper and faster to take advantage of the main currents.
The loneliness I'm experiencing is self imposed, since I have plenty of people around me that are trying to help me out. And it's loneliness because I've been trying to carry my wife's world and mine on my back. This can't be anymore. I'm trowing my happiness out the window. Fortunately, my wife had the good sense to close the damn thing.
Good thinking, being practical and utter respect for logic, not forgetting my manners and not hardening my heart, that's the way to go.
Sometimes people get scared. I'm no different. I don't want to get back that road I traveled in the past when I eventually hurt people in my life. In this growingly mad world, ethics will be the thing that will save us as individuals and society. I'm having some people helping me in these conclusions.
So all and all, what is that I need? For starters, to get my priorities straight. Where am I, what is my current status. After that, be clear about where I want to go. Now I have points A and B. Time to figure out how to get there and what I need to do that. When I achieve this, I'll have done 10% of the work. The rest is sweat. Nothing makes a genius more than continuity. Hard work and lots of patience always pays off. I guess I can do a lot of hard work, but I seem to have a deficit on patience. Where do I buy a couple of cans of that?
It would be nice to get back to Earth, the mother of us all. I seem to need to charge my batteries. Feel the wind on my hair, the rain on my face and the Sun on my back. Maybe my references are in my wilderness, even if it's only a walk in the park. Maybe it's in the sea, even if it's only a stream that wets my feet.
I once told my wife that she is 90% of the happiness I can have in my life. There might be 100%'s out there, but it took me 30 long years to find the person that eases my pain with a smile, so who gives a shit about the rest 10%? I'm not risking what I have.
Right now I seem to be focusing on the problems instead of on finding solutions. Time goes by, and the problems only get bigger. I need to find my compass fast, and smile more often. You now what? I worry too much. And I know this, only I've been conditioned to be this way, and it's not easy to shake this monkey off my back. Continuity seems to be the answer to everything. Keep trying. And another thing... The KISS method (keep it simple, stupid).
